When an Assembly consults with individuals involved in domestic violence, it should be aware of the cycle of domestic violence and how this cycle might affect what is reported. It should understand that an apparent improvement in relations may be expected to follow an outburst of violence and that all parties may confirm it and express hope or confidence that the improvement will be maintained. However, without intervention, the cycle will almost inevitably continue and grow worse over time, even though months or even years may pass between episodes.

Individuals May Be Unaware of Varied Aspects of Domestic Violence

Individual Bahá'ís may be unaware that particular behaviors in the family, which may be perceived as rightful forms of discipline, constitute violations of Bahá'í or civil law. Those from other countries may be particularly unaware of United States federal and state laws concerning domestic violence.

Individual Patterns of Abuse Are Likely to Have Multiple Characteristics

As the patterns of behavior constituting domestic violence are often embedded at an unconscious level of presumed acceptability, both culturally and experientially, it may be helpful to enumerate in detail a range of the behaviors that are characteristically seen in domestic violence in the United States. Several of these behaviors may characterize the pattern of a particular individual and may vary widely in the degree of severity to which they are acted out. While intended to assist Bahá'í communities to have a more consistent understanding of domestic violence, it should be borne in mind that the following list is not exhaustive:

o For children, this may occur in a repeated pattern of caregiver behavior or extreme incidents that convey to children that they are worthless, flawed, unloved, unwanted, endangered, or only of value in meeting another's needs.

o For adults, this may be a relationship where the offender continuously degrades or belittles the abused or accuses them of being stupid, unattractive, a bad parent, unfaithful or any other similar fault and can be considered an indicator of domestic violence or the potential for domestic violence.

Abusive Behaviors Should Be Recognized as Unacceptable Regardless of Gender

While women are sometimes the perpetrators of violent abuse, field research shows that the preponderating share of domestic violence involving serious injury or loss of life is committed by men against women⁶ and children⁷. Less extreme forms of abuse, which are generally not reported and may not even be identified as abuse, may be committed as frequently by women as by men and contribute to the widespread acceptance and perpetuation of abusive patterns in society. However, whether committed by men or women, Bahá'ís should recognize all such behaviors as unacceptable on the basis of spiritual principle (in addition to many of them being violations of criminal law) and should strive diligently in the process of personal transformation to recognize and overcome any such behaviors and attitudes.

Criminality and Penalties Determined by Circumstance and Jurisdiction

Which aspects of domestic violence are considered crimes depend upon the particular circumstances, as well as the laws of the state in which the act occurs. In addition to physical violence, direct or indirect threats of violence that cause a reasonable person to believe that she or he is in danger may be crimes. Certain acts of domestic violence, whether or not subject to criminal punishment, may be grounds for restrictions on personal conduct, such as court orders of protection or restraint to prevent offenders having contact with the abused. Certain acts may be grounds for civil suits filed by the abused or their families for award of monetary damages.

In a growing number of communities and states, domestic violence is now prosecuted as a crime without the requirement for the abused party to file a complaint and even without their assistance or cooperation. This method is increasingly recognized as helpful in prosecuting criminal cases so they may proceed without being impeded or adversely affected by the cyclical nature of relationships between offenders and abused individuals or by the presence of intimidation. Assemblies faced with domestic violence situations may find it helpful to be informed of the approach used in their area.

Early Intervention Is Protective Measure

Although verbal, emotional, psychological, and economic abuses, with some exceptions, are not generally considered criminal behaviors, they are widely regarded as forms of domestic violence. Non-criminal abusive behaviors are destructive to family relationships, sometimes become the basis of civil suits or court injunctions and, if unchecked, may lead to criminal abuse. Violations of civil court injunctions may incur criminal penalties. Understanding the relationship between non-criminal domestic violence and criminal domestic violence is helpful in promoting early intervention as a protective measure for present and future victims, as well as for the offender, who risks increasingly punitive penalties as his or her behavior grows worse. Tolerance of relatively insignificant or "minor" forms of abuse, with the mindset that it isn't "really" domestic violence because it doesn't result in significant physical injury, almost inevitably invites increasingly serious expressions of abuse in the present relationship and probably in future relationships.

Harmful Effects of Abusive Behavior Are Well-Established

Domestic violence instills and perpetuates harmful patterns of behavior and distorts development of human character through the force of wrongful example. It obstructs appropriate spiritual, emotional and psychological development, particularly in children and youth who are witnesses or victims of domestic violence. 'Abdu'l-Bahá admonishes:

It is not, however, permissible to strike a child, or vilify him, for the child's character will be totally perverted if he be subjected to blows or verbal abuse.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 125)

Abuse has been implicated in numerous studies as a causal factor for both adults and children in a diverse range of mental, emotional, and physical ills. Further, according to 'Abdu'l-Bahá, abusive misconduct limits the spiritual development of the abuser as, "every aggressor deprives himself of God's grace."⁸

It is important to note that the Universal House of Justice has made a distinction between behavior that may be identified as abusive and that which may be a legitimate aspect of discipline for children, understood to be a responsibility of parents. However, any such disciplinary actions are to be carried out "'gently and patiently' and with 'loving care.'"⁹

As to your question about the use of physical punishment in child training, although there is a Tablet of the Master's which considers beating as not permissible, this does not necessarily include every form of corporal punishment. In order to have a full grasp of the Master's attitude towards punishment, one has to study all His Tablets in this respect. For the time being no hard and fast rule can be laid down, and parents must use their own wise discretion in these matters until the time is ripe for the principles of Bahá'í education of children to be more clearly elucidated and applied.

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice, dated August 12, 1975, to an individual believer)

Important to Know Signs of Abusive Behavior

Violence takes many forms and can happen frequently or once in a while. It is important to be able to recognize abusive behaviors for what they are in order to prevent or stop violence.

Important to Know Indicators of Imminent Danger

It is also important to know the indicators of imminent danger. There are a number of lethality indicators now commonly used in law enforcement to gauge the dangerousness of an abuser in a domestic violence crisis situation:

In some jurisdictions, the presence of any two of the above may be cause for arrest during a crisis situation. In addition, a sudden increase in the frequency or intensity of physically violent incidents is understood in the field of domestic violence research to be an indicator of imminent lethal danger. There may be periods when abusers present no danger and others when they are acutely dangerous; therefore, a cautionary note is that the intuition of the abused, rather than professional assessment or the factors set forth above, may be the best guide to knowing when there is danger.¹⁰ Assemblies should be careful to take seriously and encourage the abused party to believe in their own intuitive assessment of the situation and take necessary steps for protection.

The dangerous potential of the above behaviors should not be minimized by assuming that Bahá'ís in general or that any particular individual would be too spiritually evolved to commit a criminal act.

Important to Know Most Dangerous Times

For women in dangerous home environments, leaving does not mean that she and her children are safe. Repeated field research studies indicate that the most dangerous times are when she is leaving and after she has left, with up to 75% of domestic assaults being inflicted after separation.¹¹,^{, 12} Pregnancy is also an especially vulnerable time for women, with field research indicating pregnancy as a time when abuse may first occur or escalate, often with assault directed towards the unborn child.¹³ Despite the dangers of leaving, research data and experience of advocates for battered women demonstrate that "ultimately a battered woman can best achieve safety and freedom apart from the batterer."¹⁴

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

There are many reasons why people choose to stay in abusive relationships. The reasons may be complex and deeply rooted in private and cultural patterns or they may simply be that they know of no practical alternative. Any or all of the following may be factors:

Too often, responsibility for ending abuse is shifted to abused parties by blaming them for not leaving abusive relationships. It fails to hold abusers accountable for abusive behavior and avoids the obvious question, "Why doesn't the abuser choose to leave (even go for a walk) rather than choosing to abuse?"

Relationship of Gender Inequality to Domestic Violence

Family Violence Is Global Problem

Family violence is a global and pernicious problem … [that] must be addressed by the world community. It is not a private matter, but has become a global pandemic that the international community can neither ignore nor allow to be protected within the privacy of the family. It is an affliction that ravages all regions of the world, all economic and educational strata and all types of families. The family is the primary locus of human socialization and development. If that development process is denied or distorted, the adverse consequences can be irreversible. Behaviors learned in the home are replicated in the wider society.

(Bahá'í International Community, Creating Violence-Free Families, Summary Report of United Nations Symposium, May 1994)

C ompare the nations of the world to the members of a family. A family is a nation in miniature. Simply enlarge the circle of the household, and you have the nation. Enlarge the circle of nations, and you have all humanity. The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation. The happenings in the family are the happenings in the life of the nation.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 157)

Violence against Women Is Yardstick for Human Rights Violations

Violence against women is a yardstick by which one can measure the violation of all human rights. It can be used to gauge the degree to which a society is governed by aggressivity, dominated by competition and ruled by force. Abusive practices against women have frequently been and are still being justified in the context of cultural norms, religious beliefs and unfounded "scientific theories" and assumptions. But whatever its political or religious system, a society patterned on dominance inevitably gives rise to such distortions of power as violence against women.

(Bahá'í International Community, Ending Violence Against Women, Statement to 51st session of UN Commission on Human Rights, March 1995)

Violence against Women Is Rooted in Traditional Gender Inequality

The association between gender inequality and violence against women seems self-evident, given the considerably higher proportion of intimate partner violence committed by men against women, as revealed in decades of studies, some of which are referenced in the preceding section. When examining such violence, the following statement by the Universal House of Justice affirms the traditional nature of these behaviors throughout the world:

A number of your questions pertain to the treatment of women, and are best considered in light of the principle of equality of the sexes which is set forth in the Bahá'í Teachings. This principle is far more than the enunciation of admirable ideals; it has profound implications in all aspects of human relations and must be an integral element of Bahá'í domestic and community life. The application of this principle gives rise to changes in habits and practices which have prevailed for many centuries.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Gender Prejudices Distort Human Development and Foster Domestic Violence

In every culture, deeply rooted, underlying assumptions and prejudices about gender distort development of both males and females and foster environments in which domestic violence can thrive. With this understanding, the above-cited research lends additional urgency to the National Spiritual Assembly's statement on gender equality:

The damaging effects of gender prejudice are a fault line beneath the foundation of our national life. The gains for women rest uneasily on unchanged, often unexamined, inherited assumptions. Much remains to be done. The achievement of full equality requires a new understanding of who we are, what is our purpose in life, and how we relate to one another -- an understanding that will compel us to reshape our lives and thereby our society.

(National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of the United States, Two Wings of a Bird, 1997)

Violence-Free Families Require Partnerships between Society and Men and Women

Effective efforts to create violence-free families require a partnership between men and women and the active participation of all social sectors. Strategies for redress and remedies must be designed to include the whole family, because the dynamics of family violence directly affect all its members.

(Bahá'í International Community, Creating Violence-Free Families, Summary Report of United Nations Symposium, May 1994)

Fostering Development of Both Men and Women Essential to Eradication of Domestic Violence

That eradication of all forms of domestic violence is dependent upon elimination of gender prejudice can no longer be doubted. Fostering the development of boys and men in areas in which they have been historically underdeveloped, in addition to promoting the education and progress of girls and women, cannot be ignored as an essential component of a full and lasting resolution to the patterns of aggressiveness and dominance, which underlie not only domestic violence but all forms of human rights violations.

The world in the past has been ruled by force, and man has dominated over woman by reason of his more forceful and aggressive qualities both of body and mind. But the balance is already shifting; force is losing its dominance, and mental alertness, intuition, and the spiritual qualities of love and service, in which woman is strong, are gaining ascendancy. Hence the new age will be an age less masculine and more permeated with the feminine ideals . . . an age in which the masculine and feminine elements of civilization will be more evenly balanced.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, quoted by J.E. Esselmont in Bahá'u'lláh and the New Era, p. 156)

Both Women and Men Must Be Strengthened in Deficient Areas

The following analogy of the bird of humanity requiring two wings of equal strength to fly contains the implication that in addition to strengthening women in ways in which they have been deficient, men must, likewise, be strengthened in ways in which they have been traditionally deficient:

The world of humanity is possessed of two wings: the male and the female. So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength, the bird will not fly. Until womankind reaches the same degree as man, until she enjoys the same arena of activity, extraordinary attainment for humanity will not be realized; humanity cannot wing its way to heights of real attainment.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 375)

Mutual Strengthening Will Increase Capacity of Both to Reach Highest Potential

This mutual strengthening will in no way diminish those inherent differences between the sexes which God has chosen to confer upon them, but will increase the capacity of both to reach their highest potential. This is confirmed by the following passages:

That men and women differ from one another in certain characteristics and functions is an inescapable fact of nature and makes possible their complementary roles in certain areas of the life of society; but it is significant that 'Abdu'l-Bahá has stated that in this Dispensation "Equality of men and women, except in some negligible instances, has been fully and categorically announced."

(The Universal House of Justice, Introduction, The Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 7)

When the two wings . . . become equivalent in strength, enjoying the same prerogatives, the flight of man will be exceedingly lofty and extraordinary.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 375)

Examination of Attitudes, Feelings and Behavior Is Needed

Among the conclusions of the National Spiritual Assembly concerning men in its statement on gender equality is the following, which has particular applicability to considerations of domestic violence:

It is essential that men engage in a careful, deliberate examination of attitudes, feelings, and behavior deeply rooted in cultural habit, that block the equal participation of women and stifle the growth of men.

(National Spiritual Assembly of the United States, Two Wings of a Bird, 1997)

Again applying the principle of equality evenly, women are not exempt from self-examination in the area of gender equality and must also engage in deliberate examination of their own attitudes, feelings and behaviors, which may contribute to sustaining traditional patterns of gender prejudice.

Recognition of Mutual Roles Does Not Diminish Obligation to Cease Violence

Recognizing that women and men have important roles in identifying and changing cultural assumptions and prejudices, as well as their own attitudes and behaviors associated with those assumptions, in no way diminishes the immediate obligations of both to cease any violent or threatening behaviors and to behave in spiritually responsible and law-abiding ways.

Role of Laws, Punishment, and Education in Relation to Domestic Violence

Continuance of Mankind Depends upon Justice

As forgiveness is one of the attributes of the Merciful One, so also justice is one of the attributes of the Lord. The tent of existence is upheld upon the pillar of justice and not upon forgiveness. The continuance of mankind depends upon justice and not upon forgiveness.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p. 270)

American Bahá'ís Called to Uphold Justice

S mall wonder, therefore, that the Author of the Bahá'í Revelation should have chosen to associate the name and title of that House¹⁵, which is to be the crowning glory of His administrative institutions, not with forgiveness but with justice, to have made justice the only basis and the permanent foundation of His Most Great Peace, and to have proclaimed it in His Hidden Words as "the best beloved of all things" in His sight. It is to the American believers, particularly, that I feel urged to direct this fervent plea to ponder in their hearts the implications of this moral rectitude, and to uphold, with heart and soul and uncompromisingly, both individually and collectively, this sublime standard - a standard of which justice is so essential and potent an element.

(Shoghi Effendi, The Advent of Divine Justice, pp. 28-29)

Some Bahá'ís Do Not Conform Actions to Standards of Teachings

Membership in the Bahá'í community is open to all who accept Bahá'u'lláh as the Manifestation of God, and who thereupon embark on the process of changing their conduct and refining their character. It is inevitable that this community will, at times, be subject to delinquent behaviour of members whose actions do not conform to the standards of the Teachings.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Violation of Spiritual Laws Injures Not Only Individuals but Also Society

Just as there are laws governing our physical lives, requiring that we must supply our bodies with certain foods, maintain them within a certain range of temperatures, and so forth, if we wish to avoid physical disabilities, so also there are laws governing our spiritual lives. These laws are revealed to mankind in each age by the Manifestation of God, and obedience to them is of vital importance if each human being, and mankind in general, is to develop properly and harmoniously. Moreover, these various aspects are interdependent. If an individual violates the spiritual laws for his own development he will cause injury not only to himself but to the society in which he lives. Similarly, the condition of society has a direct effect on the individuals who must live within it.

(The Universal House of Justice, Messages from the Universal House of Justice 1968-1973, pp. 105-6)

Domestic Violence May Be Violation of Both Civil and Bahá'í Laws

Individuals who commit acts of domestic violence may be subject to civil, criminal and Bahá'í administrative sanctions. While the Bahá'í community must protect itself against the misconduct of a small minority of its members, its true goal is to illumine the minds and refine the behavior of all its members to such a degree that none would commit an illegal act and all would shrink from the very thought of harming anyone.

Law Must Punish Crime for Protection of Society

The Laws of God are not imposition of will, or of power, or pleasure, but the resolutions of truth, reason and justice.'

All men are equal before the law, which must reign absolutely.

The object of punishment is not vengeance, but the prevention of crime . . . . the law must punish him in order to prevent a repetition of that same crime by others, as the pain of the individual is unimportant beside the general welfare of the people.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 154)

The law must act first for the protection of society. Then, it may take into account the condition of the offender and undertake a program of healing and rehabilitation. Sadly, people who are mentally unstable sometimes commit criminal acts. In every such case, the duly constituted institutions of society bear the burden of determining the balance of protective, rehabilitative and therapeutic measures to be applied.

Punishment Not Revenge but Imposition of Penalty for Committed Offense

In His Tablets 'Abdu'l-Bahá explains the difference between revenge and punishment. He affirms that individuals do not have the right to take revenge, that revenge is despised in the eyes of God, and that the motive for punishment is not vengeance, but the imposition of a penalty for the committed offence. In Some Answered Questions, He confirms that it is the right of society to impose punishments on criminals for the purpose of protecting its members and defending its existence.

(The Universal House of Justice, Notes, The Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 203)

Strive Day and Night to Accomplish Education That Crimes May Not Occur

The community…ought day and night to strive and endeavor with the utmost zeal and effort to accomplish the education of men, to cause them day by day to progress and to increase in science and knowledge, to acquire virtues, to gain good morals and to avoid vices, so that crimes may not occur.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p. 271)

Ultimate Solution Not Punishment but Spiritual Illumination

It should be recognized that the ultimate solution to the problems of humanity lies not in penalties and punishments, but rather in spiritual education and illumination. 'Abdu'l-Bahá has written:

It is incumbent upon human society to expend all its forces on the education of the people, and to copiously water men's hearts with the sacred streams that pour down from the Realm of the All-Merciful, and to teach them the manners of Heaven and spiritual ways of life, until every member of the community of man will be schooled, refined, and exalted to such a degree of perfection that the very committing of a shameful act will seem in itself the direst infliction and most agonizing of punishments, and man will fly in terror and seek refuge in his God from the very idea of crime, as something far harsher and more grievous than the punishment assigned to it.

It is toward this goal that the community of the Greatest Name is striving, aided and reinforced by the limitless power of the Holy Spirit.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Bahá'í Community Must Offer World a Model

As humanity passes through the age of transition in its evolution to a world civilization which will be illumined by spiritual values and will be distinguished by its justice and its unity, the role of the Bahá'í community is clear: it must accomplish a spiritual transformation of its members, and must offer to the world a model of the society destined to come into being through the power of the Revelation of Bahá'u'lláh.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Bahá'í Laws, Principles, and Exhortations Applying to Domestic Violence

Obedience to Civil Law Sacred Obligation of Every True Bahá'í

At the outset it should be made indubitably clear that the Bahá'í Cause being essentially a religious movement of a spiritual character stands above every political party or group, and thus cannot and should not act in contravention to the principles, laws, and doctrines of any government. Obedience to the regulations and orders of the state is, indeed, the sacred obligation of every true and loyal Bahá'í.

(Letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, dated February 11, 1934)

Bahá'ís Must Exemplify Freedom from All Forms of Abuse

Among the signs of moral downfall in the declining social order are the high incidence of violence within the family, the increase in degrading and cruel treatment of spouses and children, and the spread of sexual abuse. It is essential that the members of the community of the Greatest Name take the utmost care not to be drawn into acceptance of such practices because of their prevalence. They must be ever mindful of their obligation to exemplify a new way of life distinguished by its respect for the dignity and rights of all people, by its exalted moral tone, and by its freedom from oppression and from all forms of abuse.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

All Acts of Violence Are Condemned

In another connection He, wishing to stress His strong condemnation of all acts of violence, had written: "It would be more acceptable in My sight for a person to harm one of My own sons or relatives rather than inflict injury upon any soul."

(Bahá'u'lláh, quoted by Shoghi Effendi in God Passes By, pp. 133-34)

Use of Force or Threat of Violence Is Flagrant Transgression of Bahá'í Teachings

The use of force by the physically strong against the weak, as a means of imposing one's will and fulfilling one's desires, is a flagrant transgression of the Bahá'í teachings. There can be no justification for anyone compelling another, through the use of force or through the threat of violence, to do that to which the other person is not inclined. 'Abdu'l-Bahá has written, "O ye lovers of God! In this, the cycle of Almighty God, violence and force, constraint and oppression, are one and all condemned." Let those who, driven by their passions or by their inability to exercise discipline in the control of their anger, might be tempted to inflict violence on another human being, be mindful of the condemnation of such disgraceful behavior by the Revelation of Bahá'u'lláh.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

No Abuse of Any Kind, Whether Emotional, Mental or Physical

The stress laid in the statements of Bahá'u'lláh and 'Abdu'l- Bahá on love and harmony as the hallmark of marriage, and in view of 'Abdu'l-Bahá's exhortation that each member of the family must uphold the rights of the others, makes it clear that violence in the family is contrary to the spirit of the Faith and a practice to be condemned. It is clear that no husband should subject his wife to abuse of any kind, whether emotional, mental or physical. Such a reprehensible action would be the very antithesis of the relationship of mutual respect and equality enjoined by the Bahá'í writings --- a relationship governed by the principles of consultation and devoid of the use of any form of abuse, including force, to compel obedience to one's will.

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of Australia, dated April 12, 1990)

No One Should Be Subjected to Tyranny

From the pen of Bahá'u'lláh Himself has come the following statement on the subject of the treatment of women:

The friends of God must be adorned with the ornament of justice, equity, kindness and love. As they do not allow themselves to be the object of cruelty and transgression, in like manner they should not allow such tyranny to visit the handmaidens of God. He, verily, speaketh the truth and commandeth that which benefiteth His servants and handmaidens. He is the Protector of all in this world and the next.

No Bahá'í husband should ever beat his wife, or subject her to any form of cruel treatment; to do so would be an unacceptable abuse of the marriage relationship and contrary to the Teachings of Bahá'u'lláh.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Lift Not the Hand of Injustice and Oppression

Let none contend with another, and let no soul slay another; this, verily, is that which was forbidden you in a Book that hath lain concealed within the Tabernacle of glory. What! Would ye kill him whom God hath quickened, whom He hath endowed with spirit through a breath from Him? Grievous then would be your trespass before His throne! Fear God, and lift not the hand of injustice and oppression to destroy what He hath Himself raised up; nay, walk ye in the way of God, the True One.

(Bahá'u'lláh, The Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 46)

Lack of Spiritual Values Leads to Debasement of Attitudes Governing Relationships

The lack of spiritual values in society leads to a debasement of the attitudes which should govern the relationship between the sexes, with women being treated as no more than objects for sexual gratification and being denied the respect and courtesy to which all human beings are entitled. Bahá'u'lláh has warned: "They that follow their lusts and corrupt inclinations, have erred and dissipated their efforts. They, indeed, are of the lost."¹⁶ Believers might well ponder the exalted standard of conduct to which they are encouraged to aspire.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Abuse of Children Is Betrayal of Trust and Denial of Human Rights

While the discipline of children is an acceptable part of their education and training, such actions are to be carried out "gently and patiently" and with "loving care," far removed from the anger and violence with which children are beaten and abused in some parts of the world. To treat children in such an abhorrent manner is a denial of their human rights, and a betrayal of the trust which the weak should have in the strong in a Bahá'í community.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Child's Character Perverted by Blows or Verbal Abuse

Let the mothers consider that whatever concerneth the education of children is of the first importance. Let them put forth every effort in this regard, for when the bough is green and tender it will grow in whatever way ye train it. Therefore is it incumbent upon the mothers to rear their little ones even as a gardener tendeth his young plants. Let them strive by day and by night to establish within their children faith and certitude, the fear of God, the love of the Beloved of the worlds, and all good qualities and traits. Whensoever a mother seeth that her child hath done well, let her praise and applaud him and cheer his heart; and if the slightest undesirable trait should manifest itself, let her counsel the child and punish him, and use means based on reason, even a slight verbal chastisement should this be necessary. It is not, however, permissible to strike a child, or vilify him, for the child's character will be totally perverted if he be subjected to blows or verbal abuse.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 125)

(See also "Harmful Effects of Abusive Behavior Are Well-Established" in the Definition of Domestic Violence section.)

If an Assembly becomes aware that a Bahá'í is mistreating another person, it has a responsibility to use its collective will to counsel that individual about his or her actions. If its counsels are not accepted, the Assembly should not hesitate to implement stronger measures, such as the recommendation that administrative sanctions be placed on the believer.

If an Assembly finds itself unable to function effectively concerning a case of domestic violence, it should immediately contact the National Spiritual Assembly rather than neglect the matter. Should the Local Assembly fail to act promptly in this regard, any individual member of the Assembly would be free to bring to the matter to the attention of the National Assembly. In some situations, the Local Assembly may wish to recommend that jurisdiction be transferred to another Assembly.

When Alleged Abuser Is Assembly Member

C oncerning the question of the presence of a member of an Assembly during the discussion of his personal problems, all members of a Spiritual Assembly have the right and duty to participate in all meetings of the Assembly. The Assembly cannot require a member to absent himself from a properly called Assembly meeting.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, dated April 23, 1964)

It should also be understood that a member may wish to absent himself from a meeting at which subjects in which he is personally involved are to be discussed. In such cases he may do so unless the Assembly requires him to be present.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, dated January 22, 1975)

In some situations, reporting domestic violence to an Assembly might further endanger the abused party if the abuser serves on the Assembly. When an Assembly Secretary or any other member receives a report of abuse and the alleged abuser or a relative or close friend of the abuser serves on the Assembly, it is suggested that the person receiving the report contact the National Spiritual Assembly for guidance on how to proceed.

As stated under "Unexpected Challenges to Functioning," if an Assembly finds itself unable to function effectively concerning a case of domestic violence, due to the fact that the alleged abuser is an Assembly member or for any other reason, it should contact the National Assembly.

Act to Protect but Make No Judgment Before Investigating Facts

The Assembly should promptly look into any report of domestic violence, if it is possible to do so without causing further danger to anyone involved (refer to "Investigation Must Not Endanger" in the Investigate the Facts section) and act to protect while it investigates the facts of the situation. It cannot, however, make a judgment about the matter until it has assessed the facts and should not take a position one way or the other until it has done so. Any investigation undertaken by the Assembly must not be allowed to delay mandated reporting to civil authorities nor to interfere in any way with the procedures of those authorities.

Combine Dual Roles of Loving Shepherd and Administering Justice

In coming to decisions concerning any situation of domestic violence brought to its attention, an Assembly should bear in mind that it is required to serve as a loving shepherd and also to administrator justice. Cases involving abuse are always distressing and sometimes polarizing within the membership of the Assembly itself. The Assembly must conserve its detachment and sense of justice to meet its responsibility to assist with the protection and spiritual development of all the souls under its jurisdiction, regardless of their attainments or shortcomings. While its first responsibility is to protect the abused, it must also seek to address the spiritual condition and behavior of the offender.

The divinely ordained institution of the Local Spiritual Assembly operates at the first levels of human society and is the basic administrative unit of Bahá'u'lláh's World Order. It is concerned with individuals and families whom it must constantly encourage to unite in a distinctive Bahá'í society, vitalized and guarded by the laws, ordinances and principles of Bahá'u'lláh's Revelation. It protects the Cause of God; it acts as the loving shepherd of the Bahá'í flock.

(Message from the Universal House of Justice to the Bahá'ís of the World, Naw-Rúz 1974)

Address Needs of Both Individuals and Community

The Assembly should be aware that the alleged offender, as well as the abused party, is in need of emotional and spiritual support. In its role as loving shepherd of the community, the Assembly should provide reassurance of its love to everyone involved and provide not only guidance but also a support network in the realization that frequent counsel and encouragement may be needed for all parties. The Assembly must also be aware of the potentially divisive effects the situation may have upon the community and urge believers to contain any discussion of the matter to its duly appointed representatives.

In some cases, the Assembly may need to contact individual Bahá'ís who are not involved in the case to respond to their concerns and ask them to refrain from discussing the matter with others. If they are unresponsive, stronger measures may be required, such as a warning from the Assembly, or imposition of administrative sanctions, if they continue to be unresponsive.

If the problem of backbiting has become more widespread, a community deepening may be needed for the purpose of educating people on the subject of domestic violence, the roles of the individual, the Assembly, and the Auxiliary Board, and ways in which the community may support a healthy environment and protect itself from misconduct.

May Intervene without Consent of Parties

In matters which affect the Cause the Assembly should, if it deems it necessary, intervene even if both sides do not want it to, because the whole purpose of the Assemblies is to protect the Faith, the Communities, and the individual Bahá'í as well.

(Shoghi Effendi, Principles of Bahá'í Administration, p. 58)

In applying this principle to cases of domestic violence, the Assembly should use extreme care not to take any action (such as contacting the alleged abuser) that it or the abused person feels might further endanger anyone. However, if the alleged abuser is a Bahá'í, the Assembly may be obligated to intervene whether the abused party wishes it to do so or not, as long as such intervention does not endanger anyone further (refer to "Advise Accused Party of Possible Consequences of Misconduct" in the Assist in Rehabilitation of Abuser section, as well as "Investigation Must Not Endanger" in the Investigate the Facts section).

If the alleged abuser is not a Bahá'í, the Assembly would have no obligation to intervene with him or her since he or she is not under the Assembly's jurisdiction, but may still offer its assistance (according to the guidance in this Supplement) to any party who requests it.

Initiate Action for Solution of Problem

The Local Spiritual Assemblies should neither be like private agents prying into the lives of the believers and seeking out their personal problems, nor should they condone glaring disregard of the Holy Laws. Whenever it becomes known that one of the believers is flagrantly disobeying the Teachings of the Faith, whether spiritual, ethical, moral, or administrative, the Assemblies should not allow such a situation to become a source of backbiting among the friends or deteriorate into either the loss of the dignity of the Teachings in the eyes of the Bahá'ís and non-Bahá'ís, or the eventual inactivity of the believers, as you have observed. The Assemblies, with the encouragement and under the continuous guidance of your National Assembly, should, in the name of protecting the interests of the Faith, themselves initiate action for the solution of the problem, and handle it with love, wisdom, and firmness.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, dated November 12, 1965)

Be Careful to Conform to Civil Law

The cardinal principle which we must follow ... is obedience to the government prevailing in any land in which we reside....

(Shoghi Effendi, Directives of the Guardian, p. 57)

An Assembly must be careful not to interfere with established legal procedures. Many states require persons in certain positions, e.g., teachers, therapists, doctors, clergy, etc., to report cases such as child abuse, sexual molestation, battering, severe neglect, and so forth. Some states are now also mandating reporting of elder abuse.

State laws may differ considerably on how various kinds of abuse, neglect, and molestation are defined and these definitions are subject to on-going review and change. It is of paramount importance that upon receipt of information regarding abuse, neglect or other domestic violence that the Local Spiritual Assembly contact local protective or domestic violence agencies for guidance on the current reporting requirements and conform to them without delay. In any situation where a Bahá'í institution is legally required to report abuse or suspected abuse, it should appoint a representative to do so on its behalf.

(Refer also to "Cautions for Child Abuse Cases" in the Special Considerations section and "Child Abuse Must Be Reported to Civil Authorities" in the Protect the Abused section, as well as to Chapter 15 of Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities: Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies.)

Preservation of Confidentiality Is Utmost Concern

In matters of domestic violence, aside from the requirements of civil reporting, preservation of confidentiality is of the utmost concern for the protection of everyone involved. The ability of the Assembly to preserve the sanctity of its meetings and the information to which it is privy determines, to a great extent, the willingness of individuals to entrust it with sensitive personal matters. The National Spiritual Assembly asks that, effective Ridván 2003, all members of Local Spiritual Assemblies complete and sign a form agreeing to protect the confidentiality of any information or material gained as a direct result of their membership on the Local Assembly, just as it asks its own members to sign such a document.

Regarding the question of confidentiality, the believers should be educated to a deeper understanding of the value of their turning to their institutions for assistance with such problems, confident that by this means justice will prevail. Together with that, it is essential that the members of the Assemblies be fully aware of the obligation imposed upon them to avoid any leakage of information from the Assembly meeting to other believers who have no legitimate reason to be so informed.

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of Australia, dated April 12, 1990)

In domestic abuse situations strict preservation of confidentiality protects not only the safety but also the reputations of the individuals and families involved while the truth of a matter is being ascertained. It further protects the Assembly itself with regard to privileged communications.

If an abused individual has separated from an alleged perpetrator, under no circumstances should a member of the Assembly or an appointed representative take it upon him or herself to divulge information concerning the victim's whereabouts to the alleged perpetrator or to anyone else, nor should the Assembly itself presume to do so without express permission of the abused person. Moreover, in situations where the abused may give permission to provide such information to the alleged perpetrator but the Assembly deems it unwise, it is not obligated to do so.

Authority to Be Expressed with Love, Humility and Respect

The temperament of authority in the administration of justice varies according to the degree of the gravity of each case. Some cases require that the Assembly take action that is firm or drastic. Even so, Assembly members have always to be mindful that the authority they wield must in general be expressed with love, humility and a genuine respect for others. Thus exercised, authority strikes a natural note and accords with that which is acceptable to spiritually attuned and fair-minded souls.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States, dated May 19, 1994)

Can Change Decisions If New Facts Emerge

Local Spiritual Assemblies are neither infallible nor omniscient and must make their decisions based on the facts available to them in light of relevant spiritual principles. Those decisions may change if new information comes to light regarding a particular situation. This includes facts concerning the actions of individuals or new guidance from the Universal House of Justice, and may also include new information in the fields of scientific and social research.

Turn to National Spiritual Assembly or Auxiliary Board

Local Assemblies may turn to the National Spiritual Assembly or to the Auxiliary Board for guidance. These institutions may have experience, instructions, or information bearing on a situation that are not otherwise available to the Local Spiritual Assembly. For example, an abuser may have a previous history of abuse. It should be borne in mind that violations of Bahá'í law and disciplinary matters are generally the responsibility of Spiritual Assemblies and not the Auxiliary Board, so Local Assemblies should turn primarily to the National Assembly for guidance in handling these aspects of abuse cases.

In general, it is not the task of Auxiliary Board members, but rather that of the Spiritual Assemblies, to deal with the personal problems of individuals and conflicts between them and with disciplinary matters. However, the Auxiliary Board members and their assistants are vital elements of the Bahá'í Administrative Order, with functions which include the counselling of believers. If a believer approaches an Auxiliary Board member or an assistant with a personal matter, it is for the Board member or assistant to decide whether to give advice or ask the believer to turn to the Spiritual Assembly.

(The Universal House of Justice, The Institution of the Counselors, p. 24)

Advice to a Local Assembly from an Auxiliary Board member or assistant may be especially helpful in consulting on aspects of the situation such as family support, the impact on the community of an abusive situation, or allegations of abuse.

Assemblies sometimes hold the mistaken view that the names of the victim, the alleged abuser, and other involved persons should be withheld from senior institutions of the Faith in the interests of protecting the reputations of the individuals involved. Exchange of confidential personal information between the National Spiritual Assembly and Local Assemblies or between the elected and appointed institutions of the Faith is occasionally necessary to facilitate handling of difficult matters and does not constitute a breach of confidentiality. On the contrary, Assemblies withholding from senior institutions vital details or relevant information that would facilitate handling of the situation may delay or obstruct resolution of a case or protection of the community.

May Seek Help from Outside Sources

In addition to private practice professionals, there are many civil, legal and social service agencies which are devoted to providing assistance in situations of domestic violence. These resources may be called upon by the Assembly for its own use, as well as for the aid of the persons involved. Many such agencies offer free or low-cost seminars to provide increased awareness and understanding of domestic violence. Assemblies are encouraged to identify such resources locally and send representatives to take advantage of training opportunities before domestic violence situations arise. If the Assembly does not have a list of its own resources, it may begin to establish one by referring to the Resource List of National Support Organizations at the end of this supplement.

Protect the Abused

Safety First

A Local Spiritual Assembly may find itself faced, at any time, with the need to make emergency or other contacts on behalf of domestic violence victims. While it should be prepared to do everything possible to ensure the safety of everyone involved in any domestic violence situation that comes to its attention, it should not attempt to set up a crisis hotline or response unit, as those are not its functions, nor should it place other members of the community in danger by attempting to intervene directly in a crisis situation.

However, in preparation for such occurrences, every Assembly should have an emergency response plan for referring crisis calls and handling domestic violence reports. It should maintain an up-to-date resource list of local protection and support services and how to refer people to them. The Assembly should be aware that in actual crisis situations, time is of the essence and there should be no delay in seeking protective assistance, if the abused party wishes it. A sample crisis response protocol for Assemblies, which the Assembly may modify for its own use, is included at the end of this supplement.

If the Local Spiritual Assembly receives a report in person, by telephone, or other means from an adult, a youth or a child that someone is being abused, it should respond in the following ways:

o Ask whether the person is bringing this to the attention of the Assembly or only to the individual contacted. If it is to the individual, the Assembly member should follow the guidance in the Role of the Individual section.

o Find out whether the person reporting is the abused party, if they want help and what they want help with, using open-ended questions and giving the person the opportunity to speak freely without interruption.

o Without making a judgment, act as if the report of abuse is true and listen compassionately. Take the report in a calm, assertive, supportive manner, without expressing shock or disbelief, as these responses may discourage the person from contacting the Assembly again or reinforce his or her sense of embarrassment, shame, or feeling of responsibility for the abuse. Affirm that bringing it to the attention of the Assembly was the right decision, that it took courage to do so, and that no person has the right to subject another to abuse.

o Treat the person reporting with courtesy, respect, loving-kindness and patience. Do not blame, judge, criticize, hurry the person, or try to impose decisions. Recognize that each person responds differently to crisis.

o Be sensitive to the possibility that in some situations, there may be more than one abuser.

o If the caller indicates that they or someone who is with them is in immediate danger, they should be strongly encouraged to immediately call 911 or their local police emergency number (if 911 is not implemented in their area). If the caller seems hesitant or reluctant, the Assembly member receiving the call may offer to place a call 911 or the police, if the caller wishes. Local Assemblies should contact their local police to determine where to refer an emergency call and what information is required.

o If, at any time during the call, screams or other sounds of violence are heard, the Assembly member receiving the call should ask the caller if they are all right and if they want the Assembly member to call the police on their behalf. If the answer is affirmative, the Assembly member should obtain the necessary referral information and relay it without any delay to 911 or local police.

o An Assembly member receiving a crisis call should NOT go to the home or location of the caller during a domestic violence crisis, as such situations can be unpredictable and extremely volatile. It is the function of law enforcement authorities, not private citizens, to intervene in such situations.

o Bear in mind that only the abused party can decide whether to leave or stay in an abusive situation and may not wish to involve civil authorities. Ascertain whether the abused party and any other people involved are safe and whether contact has been made with appropriate medical, police and social support services, such as child or adult protective services. If further information or assistance is desired by the abused party, help her or him to obtain it. This may include protective, medical, welfare, shelter, court or other services, as well as contacts with family and friends.

o If possible, the Assembly should offer to provide someone to accompany the abused person for moral and emotional support when seeking services. The Assembly should consider that many individuals may be more comfortable being accompanied by someone of the same gender, and be aware that some women's shelters do not permit men on the premises.

o As immigrants and other minorities may experience language or cultural barriers, it would be helpful, if possible, to provide someone familiar with their language and culture to accompany them, if such assistance is not provided by the agencies involved.

o Depending on the circumstances, encourage the abused party to consider the possibility of obtaining a court order of protection, with assistance from local domestic violence professionals, if one is not already in place. Under the Violence Against Women Act,²¹ such an order is generally enforceable wherever it is issued and in all other U.S. jurisdictions, including all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Indian tribal lands, and U.S. overseas territories. Orders of protection issued by foreign courts are not enforceable in the U.S.

Note that in situations where the alleged abuser or relative or close friend of the alleged abuser is a member of the Assembly, it is suggested that the Assembly member receiving the report contact the National Spiritual Assembly for guidance rather than conveying the report directly to the Local Assembly. (Refer also to "When Alleged Abuser Is Assembly Member" in the Role and Responsibilities of Local Spiritual Assembly: General Considerations section).

(Refer to the Suggested Crisis Response Guidelines at the end of this supplement for additional suggestions about how to handle crisis calls).

The Assembly should also make a written record of the report, including notes and impressions, and perhaps take photographs of the abused party's condition or property to serve as the basis for Assembly consultation. (Refer also to "Maintain Accurate Records and Ensure Confidentiality" in the Investigate the Facts section.)

Child Abuse Must Be Reported to Civil Authorities

In most states, Assemblies having reasonable cause to believe that a child has been abused are legally obligated to report the matter to civil authorities. As the legal definition of child abuse varies from place to place and may be subject to legislative change, the Assembly must find out in every case how it is defined in its own jurisdiction before it can determine its obligation for reporting. There may also be published guidelines to assist reporting parties to determine what is reasonable cause to believe abuse has occurred. However, regardless of whether Assemblies are obligated by law, it is the policy of the National Spiritual Assembly to require that Local Assemblies report to civil authorities when they have reasonable cause to believe that child abuse has occurred. (For a more detailed explanation, refer to "Cautions for Child Abuse Cases" in the Special Considerations section and to Chapter 15 of Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities: Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies).

Decision to Leave Can Only Be Made by Victim

Because of the hazards involved in either leaving or staying, a decision of whether or not to leave can only be made by the abused party, who should not be pressured by the Assembly one way or the other either as to the time frame involved or about which action to take. Well-meaning friends or advisors, and even the Assembly, may not be aware of all the circumstances or have a sense of what may constitute safety or danger in differing situations.

Should family members be counseled to remain together to try and reconcile "to maintain unity" or "preserve the family," there is no guarantee that worse abuse will not occur. (See also Determining Whether to Assist Parties with Consultation section, as well as "Abuse May Lead to Estrangement, Separation or Divorce" and "Challenge to Preserve Unity and Develop Spiritual Patterns of Family Life" in the Support Families section.)

As the large majority of significant injury or death occurs in male to female violence, the following advice is most frequently applicable to women. In cases where an abused woman does not wish to leave, the Assembly may encourage her to devise a carefully thought out escape plan with the expert assistance of local women's shelters or other professional support agencies, in the event that she should change her mind and decide to leave. However, the Assembly itself should not attempt to devise an escape plan.

When domestic violence occurs involving men as victims, it should be handled with equal concern and circumspection. In those instances, it is unlikely that there will be shelter services available, so other resources may need to be found. (Refer also to "Male Adult or Youth Victims May Have Special Needs" and "Rape Victims Entitled to Loving Support" in the Special Considerations section.)

Take Care Not to Burden Victim with Responsibility for Abuser

Any involvement of the Assembly should be handled so as to support families and individuals without burdening the abused in any way with the responsibility for either the actions or the transformation of their abusers. Some of the ways in which abused individuals have been burdened by well-meaning but misinformed individuals or Assemblies have been by:

Assist the Abused during Transition to Independence

Assemblies should be aware that in cases of separation due to domestic violence single parents with dependent children, especially women, often undergo extreme financial hardship and are at significant risk for homelessness. The Assembly should make whatever effort its means permit to assist the abused family to find the resources required to care for its basic needs during the transition to independence from the abusive parent (refer to the Support Families section). The Assembly may also wish to advise the abused party to seek legal advice to protect the financial interests of the family.

Encourage Abused to Participate in Support Groups

Participation in victim support groups, which are therapeutic in nature and purpose, may help abused parties identify their feelings and promote their abilities to make choices. Such support groups provide an opportunity for victims of domestic violence to share their experiences and discover the resources and options available to them.

Bahá'í women's groups and men's groups serve a different purpose, providing an opportunity for Bahá'ís to develop social relationships with other Bahá'ís of the same gender seeking to apply the spiritual principles of the Faith in their daily lives.

Encourage Women to Arise and Demonstrate Importance of Their Role

The Universal House of Justice has in recent years urged that encouragement be given to Bahá'í women and girls to participate in greater measure in the social, spiritual and administrative activities of their communities, and has appealed to Bahá'í women to arise and demonstrate the importance of their role in all fields of service to the Faith.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Investigate the Facts

Investigation Must Not Endanger

Whenever an Assembly receives an allegation of domestic abuse, it must take great care in evaluating how to proceed. The Assembly must decide how to determine the facts without endangering anyone further. If circumstances exist where meetings with any party involved or investigation of the facts would – in the judgment of the Assembly or the abused – further endanger the abused or anyone else, the Assembly may not be able to proceed.

Once civil authorities do become involved, the Assembly should not expect to be engaged in the investigation of material facts. Nonetheless, it will wish to attempt to obtain comments from the parties involved for its own consultation, if this can be done without endangering anyone or interfering with the civil investigation.

It is essential that the Assembly be cautious in any contact with the abused party concerning the matter. Furthermore, before approaching an alleged abuser, the Assembly should, in consultation with the abused and with advice from domestic violence professionals as necessary, attempt to assess the risk of any proposed approach and take care to ensure the safety of everyone involved before carrying out any actions. In any situation in which the Assembly has exhausted its local advisory resources and is still uncertain how to proceed, it should seek guidance from the National Spiritual Assembly.

Investigate with Diligence and Persistence

When an allegation is made that a believer has violated Bahá'í law, irrespective of the consequences in civil law, the process of investigation calls for a diligent and persistent effort by the Assembly to ascertain the facts, and for wholehearted cooperation of all concerned in the search for truth.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice, dated December 24, 1991)

Taking as non-judgmental an attitude as possible and bearing in mind the above concerns about endangerment and avoiding interference with civil authorities, the Assembly has the obligation to obtain the viewpoints of all parties involved, if circumstances involving safety permit. It may gather such information as the nature, frequency and duration of the alleged abuse, who is committing the abuse, who is being victimized, financial circumstances, who other caretakers may be (if children, disabled or elderly are involved) availability of extended family supports, and availability of social service resources. Gathering sufficient information will enable it to decide how to proceed in its efforts to support the family, as well as in making decisions concerning violations of Bahá'í law.

Always Be Fair

The National Spiritual Assembly must protect the Faith, but must always be fair. Because a person is accused does not necessarily prove that he or she is guilty; and the administrative bodies cannot be too careful in such matters.

(Shoghi Effendi, Light of Divine Guidance, Vol.2, p. 132)

Vital That Assembly Be Objective

In all matters requiring investigation, it is vital that Assemblies be objective and impartial in their approach to all parties involved and refrain from being influenced by the perceived standing of individuals in the community or by their personalities.

Guard against False Assumptions and Internal Biases

The Assembly must be on its guard against false assumptions and internal biases that might influence its own perceptions and decision-making. In its dual roles of loving shepherd and administering justice, it must satisfy itself that it has full knowledge of the facts before reaching any final decisions in a matter. The Assembly should not assume that what works for the majority of domestic violence situations will work for all or that all men, all women, all children, all youth, or all members of a minority are alike. The Assembly should take care to be respectful of the viewpoints of everyone involved in a domestic violence situation and not dismiss or disregard the viewpoints of those who are not Bahá'ís, or make assumptions about their religious or cultural backgrounds.

Arrange to Meet Separately with Each Party

Once the Assembly determines what questions are to be asked and who is to be contacted, it may request individuals to appear before it, send a representative or representatives (who need not be Assembly members) to meet separately with each party, or gather information by mail or telephone. Each party should be met with separately, as victims of violence or coercion are certain to be fearful of speaking frankly in the presence of the offender and may be subject to retaliatory abuse. When single representatives are appointed, they should be of the same gender as the person with whom they are appointed to meet and it may be helpful, if possible, to assign someone from the same cultural background to reduce the probability of miscommunication or misperception by either party. The Assembly should prepare its representative(s) by ensuring that they have thorough familiarity with the contents of this supplement.

The Assembly may also find it useful to assign a pair of representatives, perhaps one male and one female, especially when meeting with the alleged abuser, as a protection for the representatives and as a means of gathering more balanced and complete information, since each will bring a different perspective to the meeting. When meeting with the alleged abuser, for further protection, the Assembly may wish to arrange for its representatives to meet in a suitable public place.

Any contact by the Assembly or its representatives with the abused party concerning the issue of domestic violence should be carried out discreetly with cautious consideration for safety. Arranging how and where to meet with the abused party should be considered very carefully in consultation with the abused, as well as on the basis of advice from qualified domestic violence services. If the abused party has an advocate providing close emotional support, the Local Assembly may wish to indicate that the advocate is welcome to accompany the abused party when meeting with the Assembly or its representatives.²²

The Assembly may also wish to ensure that childcare and transportation are made available, if needed, in order for any party to meet with the Assembly or its representatives or to obtain other assistance.

When Accused Flees

If the accused party has fled the area, or cannot be reached, discovering his or her whereabouts is a legitimate concern of the Assembly. The Local Assembly has a responsibility to try to obtain the comments of the accused party. It also has a duty to keep the National Assembly informed of the whereabouts of the accused, if at all possible, so that the National Assembly can take protective steps in other communities should it wish do so. If unsuccessful in obtaining this information from other sources, the Local Assembly may attempt to obtain this information from authorities involved in the case, explaining its reason for doing so. The Assembly, in its own deliberations, should bear in mind that flight is not necessarily an admission of guilt.

On Conducting Interviews

In abuse cases, there is a natural tendency to want to avoid use of explicit terms. Such avoidance of explicit descriptions is not helpful in addressing abuse situations. It often leads to confusion and later misunderstandings, as different terms mean different things to different people and will later be recalled in terms of the interpreted version of the meaning. This can lead to questions about the credibility of the victim, of the person making the original report, or even of the Assembly's representatives. For this reason, questions that are asked in interviews should be explicit in their content, so that there is no confusion as to the question's meaning. By the same reasoning, any terms that may be confusing or subject to interpretation should be avoided, since they may be misunderstood by the hearer or by someone reading the report of the interview later.

When interviewing or meeting with either party, the Assembly or its representatives should be mindful of the following considerations:

Building rapport and trust are important for the Assembly regardless of the race and ethnic background of the person(s) involved. The Assembly may find that offering and providing specific assistance such as mentoring, advocacy, help in navigating social service systems, or merely providing companionship will help build rapport and trust.

Maintain Accurate Records and Ensure Confidentiality

Taking steps to effectively and permanently ensure the confidentiality of Assembly records concerning abuse or domestic violence is critical. In all situations that may potentially affect administrative rights, the Assembly should maintain clear and accurate confidential records of any information that comes to it. (For more details on the specific handling of confidential records, refer to Chapter 3 of Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities: Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies.) As explained in the preceding point on conducting interviews, the Assembly will want to use clear and unambiguous terms and include specific details in its confidential records. (Refer also to making a record of the victim's initial report as noted in "Safety First" in the Protect the Abused section.)

The Assembly will also wish to keep informed, to the extent possible, of case developments within the civil and criminal justice systems. This may include keeping track of the original police report, indictments, warrants, arraignment, pleadings, and ultimate findings in criminal cases. It will want to know of any orders of protection issued by the court or adult or child protective services, all of which will form part of its confidential record of the matter. Bahá'ís who are family members may be helpful in this, but should not be relied upon exclusively, both to avoid adding to their burdens and because they themselves may have reasons for not being entirely candid in such matters.

Copies of important documents or findings, or summaries of their contents, should be included with any recommendations the Assembly may make to the National Spiritual Assembly (refer to the Report to National Spiritual Assembly section).

Confidences Must Be Strictly Maintained

Assemblies with large Bahá'í communities have found it helpful to appoint committees or task forces on personal status to assist them in gathering background information. Since they must receive information of a sensitive nature, members of such committees and task forces, as well as Assembly members and any appointed Assembly representatives, should be trustworthy and able to maintain the strictest confidences. Because Assemblies are often not involved with situations of domestic violence until the time of separation or of crisis intervention, it is essential for them to understand the hazards involved and to convey to their representatives the extreme importance of protecting confidentiality.

Bahá'ís Are Expected to Cooperate with Assembly

When an allegation is made that a believer has violated Bahá'í law, irrespective of the consequences in civil law, the process of investigation calls for a diligent and persistent effort by the Assembly to ascertain the facts, and for wholehearted cooperation of all concerned in the search for truth. Believers called upon to provide information should, if necessary, be reminded of the responsibility they bear to speak the truth and of the spiritual consequences of a failure to do so. 'Abdu'l-Bahá asserts:

Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues. Without truthfulness, progress and success, in all the worlds of God, are impossible for any soul. When this holy attribute is established in man, all the divine qualities will also be acquired.

If this "holy attribute" should adorn the behavior of believers toward others, how much more should it characterize statements which a Bahá'í makes to a divinely ordained institution.

The prospect of a believer's displaying an attitude of hostility, when being interviewed by a Spiritual Assembly or its representatives who are seeking to determine the facts of a matter, is abhorrent. All believers are strongly enjoined to have the utmost respect for the Assemblies, to cooperate fully with them, and to support their decisions. An Assembly inquiring into a matter should not allow itself to be deterred by the hostility of a believer who is withholding relevant information; it should appeal to him for cooperation, remind him forcefully of his responsibilities and, in extreme cases such as threats made to the investigators, warn him of the administrative consequences of the persistence of his deplorable conduct.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice, dated December 24, 1991)

When Allegations Are False or Unsubstantiated

In some cases, the Assembly may decide to take no further action with respect to allegations of abuse due to lack of convincing evidence. It may be unable to determine whether or not the allegations are true or it may conclude that they are false. In such situations, the Assembly should convey to concerned parties its deep on-going concern for the protection of the community and its members and its commitment to investigating with complete detachment any additional information that may be brought to it about this or future allegations.

If the Assembly determines that there is insufficient evidence to support allegations of abuse, it should act promptly to attempt to heal whatever injuries may have arisen through the allegations and subsequent investigation of them. Records of such situations should be assigned confidential status.

Special Considerations

Alcohol or Drug Use Should Be Handled Separately

Use of alcohol or drugs is not a cause of domestic violence, but Assemblies should be aware that their use may increase its severity. As Bahá'ís are prohibited from the use of intoxicating or illegal substances, any question of alcohol or drug abuse by Bahá'ís should be handled as a separate matter (refer to Chapter 15, Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities: Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies).

Cautions for Child Abuse Cases

Federal and state laws clearly indicate that the role of investigating and prosecuting child abuse lies with civil authorities, not with other organizations or individuals. Assemblies having reasonable cause to believe that a child has been abused must promptly report the matter to the civil authorities. No Assembly should presume to try to investigate whether an allegation of child abuse is true. Failure to involve civil authorities from the outset could result not only in further risk of harm to the child involved or to other children, but also in loss of important forensic evidence. Further, attempting to investigate the truth of an allegation of child abuse might also expose the Assembly to accusations of coaching the child, tampering with evidence, obstruction of justice, influencing witnesses, or other charges, as well as allegations by the alleged offender of defamation of character. Additionally, if an Assembly has reasonable cause to believe that a child has been abused but it fails to report to civil authorities in a timely way, there may be penalties under civil law.

Should an allegation of child abuse arise at a Bahá'í school or institute operating under the auspices of the National Spiritual Assembly (including regional schools), reporting requirements and guidelines on how to respond are set out in a policy available from the National Education and Schools Office.

Should an allegation of child abuse arise at a local Bahá'í school or from other children's classes or activities – regardless of whether the alleged abuse occurred at the Bahá'í activity, in the home, or elsewhere – the allegation should be reported promptly to the sponsoring Local Spiritual Assembly, to the child's Local Assembly, or to the National Spiritual Assembly, which will then have the responsibility to contact civil authorities. In some situations, reporting child abuse to a Local Assembly might further endanger the child or others in the family, if there were to be a breach of Assembly confidentiality and the abuser were to become aware of the report. This danger is particularly apparent when the alleged abuser, or a relative or close friend of the alleged abuser, serves on the Assembly. Any individual who is not sure how to proceed in a child abuse situation is encouraged to request guidance from the National Assembly.

Some faulty lines of reasoning that might lead an Assembly, as well as friends and family members, to dismiss allegations of child abuse are that individuals may:

An Assembly is unlikely to know the truth of an allegation of child abuse. If the allegation is true, the Assembly will not know how many times a child has been abused, how many victims an offender has assaulted, nor if or when an offender will abuse again. The fact that the abuse occurred some time ago does not excuse it, nor will ignoring it prevent its recurrence. Neither embarrassment to individuals nor disruption to the family or community can be used as an excuse to avoid protecting individuals and the community or administering justice.

While an Assembly is awaiting the outcome of a civil or criminal investigation of an allegation of child abuse, it should avoid placing the alleged abuser in unsupervised contact with (or in a position of responsibility that would require contact with) the affected child or youth or other children and youth. When a parent of the abused child is the alleged offender, it rests with the civil authorities to determine whether he or she may continue contact with the child.

Child or Youth Victims Have Special Needs and Should Receive Counseling

Children and youth traumatized by abuse may suffer illnesses and disturbances in sleeping and eating, in addition to academic, psychological and emotional problems. Some may find themselves bullied in school or playground settings by other children or youth who sense their vulnerability. Others may reveal their trauma by displaying some or all of the following: sadness, depression, day dreaming, social withdrawal, sexually provocative behavior and/or angry outbursts. These problems may present in Bahá'í schools and children's classes, as well as public schools or other settings.

Abused children and youth must cope not only with the emotional trauma of whatever abuses they have suffered or witnessed but sometimes, also, with the absence of a primary role model in one or more of their parents, however imperfect it may have been. In some situations, Assemblies may wish to caution parents and others not to pressure children to take sides against either parent.

It is important that abused children and youth receive professional counseling to assist them to cope with their trauma and develop non-violent alternatives for self-expression and conflict resolution in order to interrupt what is often an intergenerational cycle of violence and victimization. Given the importance of such counseling for the future of the children or youth, if no other resources are available and if the Assembly has the resources, it may wish to consider providing a measure of financial support, if needed. The Assembly should refrain from recommending any particular counselor. If the family has no such contact of its own, the Assembly may wish to suggest that they seek a referral from their primary care physician. Referrals for counselors may also be obtained from social support organizations (refer to the Resource List of National Support Organizations and also to "Support for Abused Children and Youth" in the Support Families section).

Disabled Victims May Have Special Needs

Assemblies should be alert to the risks of abuse for people with physical disabilities, including mental illness, and aware that disabilities increase both the risk of being abused and the obstacles faced by survivors of domestic violence as they attempt to achieve safety and independence. People who are disabled tend to have less money, be more socially isolated, and often suffer from lower self-esteem due to societal prejudice. These problems are seriously exacerbated by domestic violence. Persons with disabilities may not always realize or be able to articulate that violence or assault has occurred. The Local Spiritual Assembly will need to be particularly alert in assisting those with disabilities.

Elderly Victims May Have Special Needs

Reasonable cause to believe that an elderly person has been abused may be subject to mandated reporting to civil authorities. While elderly people may be subjected to all types of abuse, including physical and sexual, the most prevalent has to do with abandonment and neglect, including self-neglect. The Assembly should bear in mind that:

The Assembly should be aware that the experience of declining capacity and resources may be a source of embarrassment, frustration, or despair for the elderly person (in addition to any abuses they may be suffering or have suffered) and should be particularly respectful of the need to preserve the dignity and autonomy of elders to the greatest extent possible. Assistance may be provided through family members, other Bahá'ís, social service agencies, such as adult protective services, and community organizations, or some combination of these (refer to the Resource List of National Support Organizations and also to "Support for Families with Elderly Members" in the Support Families section).

Ethnic and Cultural Sensitivity Issues

While there are no hard and fast rules for working with people of ethnic minorities who have been involved in domestic violence, it is crucial to remember that there is usually considerable diversity within a general ethnic minority and that individuals of any particular minority may or may not display a variety of traits associated with that minority. Ethnic minorities may be comprised of many distinct groups: for example, Southeast Asians, with a diverse range of religious, political and social histories. When an Assembly has members of an ethnic minority group within its area, it should make an effort to acquaint itself with the values and practices of their culture(s), not only to promote better understanding but to equip itself for more sensitive handling of personal status issues in general. At the same time, the Assembly must avoid stereotyping and keep its efforts to be culturally sensitive in conformity with the teachings of the Faith.

The great diversity both in the Faith and in American society requires a broad awareness of many cultural practices. The Assembly may find that some of the following points are useful in handling domestic violence in the dominant culture, as well as in minority cultures, but that not all points will apply to every culture or every member of a given culture, even if it applies to the culture generally. In general, Assemblies that handle domestic violence situations with cultural sensitivity will:

The Assembly must avoid any assumption that the cultural values of its majority membership or of the dominant culture are superior, and it should be considerate and respectful of the customs of others. To prevent unintended offense, it should:

Immigrant Victims May Have Special Needs

Immigrants may not be aware of available social services or supports in the legal system. Isolation, dependence and fear of abandonment are major problems in abusive situations. The abuser may engage in deliberate isolating behaviors such as preventing the victim's access to friends and family, to opportunities to learn English or to use of the telephone. Self-isolation on the part of the abused party may arise through culturally embedded guilt and shame, which is likely to be encouraged by the abuser as a controlling behavior. Some other considerations that may impact the situation are:

Many cultures are strongly patriarchal societies where family honor and the identity of the collective are regarded as paramount, where there may be common family investments, and where the role of women is narrowly defined. Making independent decisions is alien to many women in the world, particularly those of very patriarchal, hierarchical cultural backgrounds, and especially those who are battered and controlled.

Many immigrants are not accustomed to Western-oriented models of social, civil or healthcare services, so it will be helpful for the Assembly to explain whatever suggestions or recommendations it makes and clarify any misconceptions.

Due to experience in the home country, immigrant victims may be fearful of going to the police or relying on the legal system. There may also be practical barriers to obtaining protection and shelter such as language, transportation, dietary and religious customs, and skills needed to function in Western society. In such cases, the Assembly may wish to provide assistance directly or place the abused person in contact with culturally appropriate support services.

Immigrant Victims Should Not Be Afraid of Deportation

Immigrants being subjected to domestic violence, including those on fiancé(e) visas, should not be afraid of being deported for reporting it. If an immigrant is dependent on her or his partner for legal status the Violence Against Women Act, passed in 1994 and reauthorized in 2000, allows the abused partner to self-petition for a visa that leads to permanent residency.

Non-U.S. Citizens Convicted of Domestic Violence May Be Deported

A non-U.S. citizen convicted of an act of domestic violence may be subject to deportation under certain circumstances, no matter how many years he or she has lived in the United States and regardless of whether or not he or she has an Immigration and Naturalization Service Permanent Resident (green) Card.

Immorality Should Be Handled Separately

Whatever the relationship between two adults, whether or not it is regarded as moral within Bahá'í law, if patterns of domestic violence are evident, the guidance for handling domestic violence is to be applied. If issues of immorality²⁴ between adults are involved with cases of domestic violence, they should be dealt with as a separate matter (refer to Chapter 15, Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities: Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies).

Male Adult or Youth Victims May Have Special Needs

There are instances when the victim of domestic violence is male rather than female. In such cases, the Local Assembly must act immediately to protect, in the same way it would for a female, with respect and sensitivity to issues that may be relevant from the perspective of male victims. Fear of embarrassment and ridicule due to cultural stereotypes, lack of skill in expressing emotions, lack of support in the criminal justice system and fear of reprisal may contribute to reluctance on the part of male victims to seek or accept assistance.

Medical Conditions, Mental Illness or Use of Behavior Altering Substances

When domestic violence occurs in the context of a situation where the abuser suffers from some form of mental illness or sudden unexplained changes in behavior, the Assembly may wish to suggest that a medical evaluation of the abuser be obtained in order to either treat or rule out medical conditions and the possible use of behavior altering substances, as one aspect of addressing abuse in the home. As with all medical conditions, advice of competent professionals should be sought.

If the broad structure of society is to remain intact, resolute efforts, including medical ones, as necessary, should be made to curb acts of aggression within families, particularly their extreme forms of wife beating and child abuse by parents.

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, dated September 22, 1983)

Rape Victims Entitled to Loving Support

Although the following passage refers explicitly to women, men may also be subjected to rape. The guidance applies, therefore, equally to men except where the context would make it impossible.

One of the most heinous of sexual offences is the crime of rape. When a believer is a victim, she is entitled to the loving aid and support of the members of her community, and she is free to initiate action against the perpetrator under the law of the land should she wish to do so. If she becomes pregnant as a consequence of this assault, no pressure should be brought upon her by the Bahá'í institutions to marry. As to whether she should continue or terminate the pregnancy, it is for her to decide on the course of action she should follow, taking into consideration medical and other relevant factors, and in the light of the Bahá'í teachings. If she gives birth to a child as a result of the rape, it is left to her discretion whether to seek financial support for the maintenance of the child from the father; however, his claim to any parental rights would, under Bahá'í law, be called into question, in view of the circumstances.

The Guardian has clarified, in letters written on his behalf that, "The Bahá'í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse," and that, "The proper use of the sex instinct is the natural right of every individual, and it is precisely for this very purpose that the institution of marriage has been established." In this aspect of the marital relationship, as in all others, mutual consideration and respect should apply. If a Bahá'í woman suffers abuse or is subjected to rape by her husband, she has the right to turn to the Spiritual Assembly for assistance and counsel, or to seek legal protection. Such abuse would gravely jeopardize the continuation of the marriage, and could well lead to a condition of irreconcilable antipathy.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Sexual abuse and assault, including rape, are crimes, regardless of whether committed by a stranger, acquaintance, relative, or spouse, by a person of the same or opposite sex, and regardless of the age of the victim. An Assembly should be careful not to minimize an allegation of "date rape" or of rape by a spouse. Sexual abuse or assault involving a person under a certain age (the age varies by state) is a crime regardless of whether consent is given or force is used. Assemblies should be aware of the laws applicable in their state. (See also sections on criminal offenses in Chapter 15 of Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities.)

For resources to educate women on how to protect themselves from date rape and for referral to community legal and counseling resources with experience in cases of date rape, student services departments of colleges and universities may be helpful. (See also Resource List of National Support Organizations.)

Teens in Abusive Dating Relationships

There are potent social pressures in Western society for all teenagers to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Lack of experience, perceived cultural norms, and abusive role-modeling are some of the factors that may mislead teenagers into believing that violent, jealous, possessive, or intrusive behaviors are signs of love or that immoral behaviors are signs of maturity and independence. Like adults, they may be drawn into a relationship and develop strong feelings for someone who is attentive during the early phase of a relationship before there are obvious signs of abuse. Or they may be drawn into dangerous or immoral situations out of pressure to belong. Once emotional bonds are established between two people, it can be as difficult for teens as for adults to break out of a relationship, particularly if the two share the same circle of friends. Assemblies should not underestimate the depth of emotional attachment of which teens are capable. Because the teenage years are a time when young people normally initiate the process of establishing independence, they may be reluctant to seek help, may feel that they have no one to turn to for help, or may be embarrassed or afraid to admit to anyone that they are in trouble. In allegations of date rape, refer to "Rape Victims Entitled to Loving Support" in the preceding paragraph.

Determining Whether to Assist Parties with Consultation

Importance of Consultation

Bahá'u'lláh also stressed the importance of consultation. We should not think this worthwhile method of seeking solutions is confined to the administrative institutions of the Cause. Family consultation employing full and frank discussion, and animated by awareness of the need for moderation and balance, can be the panacea for domestic conflict. Wives should not attempt to dominate their husbands, nor husbands their wives.

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated August 1, 1978)

Consultation Cannot Take Place Where Fear of Violence or Abuse Is Present

Consultation has been ordained by Bahá'u'lláh as the means by which agreement is to be reached and a collective course of action defined. It is applicable to the marriage partners and within the family, and indeed, in all areas where believers participate in mutual decision-making. It requires all participants to express their opinions with absolute freedom and without apprehension that they will be censured or belittled; these prerequisites for success are unattainable if the fear of violence or abuse is present.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Domestic Violence Has Nothing to Do with Resolving Differences

Addressing domestic violence has nothing to do with "resolving differences," which implies a relationship in which all opinions are valued equally and where true consultation may occur and produce a beneficial outcome. According to guidance in the preceding passages, both the threat and fear of violence must be removed before effective consultation "animated by awareness of the need for moderation and balance" can take place.

Individuals Should Be Encouraged to Consult with Institutions

In domestic violence situations, where consultation between abuser and victim is often inherently impossible, the principle of consultation is likely to be most useful when applied between each party and the institutions, civil and/or Bahá'í, which provide protection, guidance, necessary assistance, and corrective measures.

Caution on Advising Parties to Consult Together

When the Assembly knows or suspects that domestic violence is a factor in a relationship it should be cautious about advising parties to consult, to reconcile or to mediate, as such advice may only serve to perpetuate and exacerbate an already harmful or dangerous situation.

Assembly May Provide Neutral Setting to Help Parties Develop Consultation Skills

As part of an effort to help salvage relationships, an Assembly may decide to provide a neutral setting in which to help parties develop consultation skills. The Assembly will make this decision based on the severity of the situation and bearing in mind the foregoing guidance together with the following considerations, which are conditioned upon constructive action and not merely promises:

Carry Out Decisions

Assembly Must Not Hesitate to Apply Bahá'í Law

It is inevitable that this community will, at times, be subject to delinquent behavior of members whose actions do not conform to the standards of the teachings. At such times, the institutions of the Faith will not hesitate to apply Bahá'í law…

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Allow Neither Threats nor Appeals to Divert from Duty

The Bahá'í institutions must be uncompromising and vigilant in their commitment to the protection of the children entrusted to their care, and must not allow either threats or appeals to expediency to divert them from their duty.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Be Firm and Say What Must Be Said

Strong ties often exist between members of the Bahá'í community that may make it very difficult to carry out decisions of the Assembly that may hurt, anger, or disappoint family or friends. It is understandable to want to avoid the possible unhappiness or censure of family and friends that may result from carrying out decisions of the Assembly, particularly when issues of confidentiality limit or prohibit explanations about such decisions. Nevertheless, personal considerations should not be allowed to influence the discharge of duties laid upon the Spiritual Assembly, which must, once its decisions are made, proceed with detachment and courage to carry them out.

Assist in Rehabilitation of Abuser

Advise Accused Party of Possible Consequences of Misconduct

As soon as is reasonably possible, without interfering with civil or criminal procedures, or further endangering the abused (refer also to "Investigation Must Not Endanger" in the Investigate the Facts section), the Assembly should consult with the accused party to obtain comments and to advise him or her about possible consequences of violating Bahá'í standards of conduct.

When an incident of abuse comes to the attention of the Assembly as a matter of public record, such as when an arrest has been made or a police log noting a domestic violence disturbance has been published in a local newspaper, if the alleged abuser is a Bahá'í, the Assembly has a duty to bring the matter up with him or her (subject to the considerations above about endangerment), making it clear that the Assembly's involvement is a response to the public record.

It should also provide a contact person to act as liaison between the Assembly and the alleged abuser, to avoid taking up too much of the Assembly's time and so that the accused party will have prompt access to the Assembly, if needed. It may also wish to suggest professional counseling or other supports to help prevent further incidents (refer to the Help Abuser Engage in Process of Spiritual Transformation section).

Assembly Must Not Allow Itself to Be Misled

Assemblies must not allow themselves to be misled by abusers, who are frequently successful manipulators and may seek to discredit victims through accusing them of exaggeration and misrepresentation or may try to engage sympathy on their own behalf by portraying themselves as victims in the situation. Rather than being taken in by such claims, Assemblies should endeavor to provide a balance of encouragement for such of their qualities as are commendable combined with firm and unequivocal guidance concerning violations of Bahá'í standards of conduct.

Those Who Abuse Do Not See Themselves As Abusers and Are Rarely Abusive Outside Home

Many of those who are abusers in the home do not think of themselves as abusers, do not usually have difficulty controlling their actions outside the home, generally have good work and social relationships and may even be pillars of the community, a pattern that clearly indicates that most abusers are in control of their actions and simply choose to act aggressively in the home. Unfortunately, this pattern often lends itself to disbelief in victims' reports of abusive behavior by "good" or "respectable" Bahá'ís and may lead to unfounded accusations of backbiting on the part of the abused party.

Help Abuser Acknowledge Problem

Denial Is Barrier to Transformation

One of the greatest barriers to transformation is lack of awareness, evasion, or denial on the part of the abuser that there are behaviors that need to be changed. The Assembly has the responsibility to assist the abuser to recognize which behaviors are not in keeping with Bahá'í standards of conduct.

Kindness Cannot Be Shown the Tyrant or Deceiver

O ye beloved of the Lord! The Kingdom of God is founded upon equity and justice, and also upon mercy, compassion, and kindness to every living soul. Strive ye then with all your heart to treat compassionately all humankind - except for those who have some selfish, private motive, or some disease of the soul. Kindness cannot be shown the tyrant, the deceiver, or the thief, because, far from awakening them to the error of their ways, it maketh them to continue in their perversity as before. No matter how much kindliness ye may expend upon the liar, he will but lie the more, for he believeth you to be deceived, while ye understand him but too well, and only remain silent out of your extreme compassion.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 158)

Sympathy Fortifies Perversity

The only way we can prove to such people that they are wrong is to censure their conduct; if we sympathize with them we only fortify their perversity and waywardness.

(Letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, dated January 23, 1945)

Understanding Origin of Behavior Neither Excuses nor Justifies It

While one may have enormous sympathy for how destructive patterns of behavior originate and that they are often due to the abuser having been abused earlier in life, such compassionate understanding should never be used to excuse or justify misconduct, or to bestow undue sympathy for its consequences, as that only perpetuates the problem and may extend it into the following generation.

Help Abuser Engage in Process of Spiritual Transformation

Fear of God May Guard and Restrain Behavior

Without a clear realization and acknowledgement that specific behaviors are abusive, those who commit such acts lack both the motivation to change and the fundamental safeguard inherent in being consciously aware that their conduct is contrary to God's will and deprives them of His grace. If abusers are able to overcome denial and take responsibility for their conduct, the fear of God may then help to restrain their behavior and protect themselves and others from further misconduct.

O people of God! Give ear unto that which, if heeded, will ensure the freedom, well-being, tranquility, exaltation and advancement of all men. Certain laws and principles are necessary and indispensable...

In formulating the principles and laws a part hath been devoted to penalties which form an effective instrument for the security and protection of men. However, dread of the penalties maketh people desist only outwardly from committing vile and contemptible deeds, while that which guardeth and restraineth man both outwardly and inwardly hath been and still is the fear of God. It is man's true protector and his spiritual guardian. It behoveth him to cleave tenaciously unto that which will lead to the appearance of this supreme bounty. Well is it with him who giveth ear unto whatsoever My Pen of Glory hath proclaimed and observeth that whereunto he is bidden by the Ordainer, the Ancient of Days.

(Bahá'u'lláh, Tablets of Bahá'u'lláh, pp. 92-93)

Individuals Must Find Redeeming Qualities in Themselves

Once an individual has recognized his or her problem and achieved the desire and commitment to change, new attitudes and behaviors in keeping with Bahá'í standards of conduct must be developed and maintained. To accomplish this, individuals must find redeeming qualities in themselves, along with the hope and belief that they can change for the better. In their role as spiritual shepherds, Assemblies can be of great assistance in aiding those who abuse to undertake the arduous task of reforming their attitudes and behaviors.

Encourage Recognition of Inherent Nobility and God's Love

You have asked about the need "to make amends for transgressions of a personal nature". As you know, each individual must resolve his own tests according to the promptings of his conscience. However, it sometimes happens that negative feelings about oneself become an obstacle to successfully passing one's spiritual tests by making it difficult to believe in one's own nobility. To this effect, Bahá'u'lláh assures us:

Veiled in My immemorial being and in the ancient eternity of My essence, I knew My love for thee; therefore I created thee, have engraved on thee Mine image and revealed to thee My beauty.²⁵

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer dated October 23, 1994)

This transcendent love of God for man and his innate nobility is further affirmed when Bahá'u'lláh says:

O SON OF SPIRIT! Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then unto that for which thou wast created.

(Bahá'u'lláh, The Hidden Words, Arabic no. 22)

Instill Recognition of Purpose of Life

According to Bahá'í teachings, life is purposeful and the most fundamental of purposes are to know and to love God and to acquire virtues. Beyond these are to promote the oneness of humanity and to carry forward an ever advancing civilization. But these purposes are not intuitive and must be instilled through education. Conscious knowledge of these purposes is beneficial to the process of spiritual and social transformation. Improving one's character and acquiring virtues is hard, demanding work. Knowing the purpose and goals of acquiring virtues helps give motive and meaning to the work of acquiring them. 'Abdu'l-Bahá tells us:

The attainment of any object is conditioned upon knowledge, volition and action. Unless these three conditions are forthcoming, there is no execution or accomplishment.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 157)

Individual Can Discontinue Vices

Nature is without volition and acts perforce, whereas man possesses a mighty will. Nature is incapable of discovering mysteries or realities, whereas man is especially fitted to do so. Nature is not in touch with the realm of God; man is attuned to its evidences. Nature is uninformed of God; man is conscious of Him. Man acquires divine virtues; nature is denied them. Man can voluntarily discontinue vices; nature has no power to modify the influence of its instincts.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 178)

Some things are subject to the free will of man, such as justice, equity, tyranny and injustice, in other words, good and evil actions; it is evident and clear that these actions are, for the most part, left to the will of man. But there are certain things to which man is forced and compelled, such as sleep, death, sickness, decline of power, injuries and misfortunes; these are not subject to the will of man, and he is not responsible for them, for he is compelled to endure them. But in the choice of good and bad actions he is free, and he commits them according to his own will.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p 248)

Individual Has Choice to Express Spiritual Nature

In man there are two natures; his spiritual or higher nature and his material or lower nature. In one he approaches God, in the other he lives for the world alone. Signs of both these natures are to be found in men. In his material aspect he expresses untruth, cruelty and injustice; all these are the outcome of his lower nature. The attributes of his Divine nature are shown forth in love, mercy, kindness, truth and justice, one and all being expressions of his higher nature. Every good habit, every noble quality belongs to man's spiritual nature, whereas all his imperfections and sinful actions are born of his material nature. If a man's Divine nature dominates his human nature, we have a saint.

Man has the power both to do good and to do evil; if his power for good predominates and his inclinations to do wrong are conquered, then man in truth may be called a saint. But if, on the contrary, he rejects the things of God and allows his evil passions to conquer him, then he is no better than a mere animal.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 60)

Strive to Overcome Insistent Self

O ye loved ones of God! In this, the Bahá'í dispensation, God's Cause is spirit unalloyed. His Cause belongeth not to the material world. It cometh neither for strife nor war, nor for acts of mischief or of shame; it is neither for quarrelling with other Faiths, nor for conflicts with the nations. Its only army is the love of God, its only joy the clear wine of His knowledge, its only battle the expounding of the Truth; its one crusade is against the insistent self, the evil promptings of the human heart. Its victory is to submit and yield, and to be selfless is its everlasting glory.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 256)

Investigate Reality and Look for True Remedy

Now it is enough! We must investigate reality. We must put away these superstitions. It is a self-evident truth that all humanity is the creation of God. All are His servants and under His protection. All are recipients of His bestowals. God is kind to all His servants. At most it is this: that some are ignorant; they must be educated in order that they may become intelligent. Some are immature as children; they must be aided and assisted in order that they may become mature. Some are sick and ailing; they must be healed. But the suffering patient must not be tested by false treatment. The child must not be warped and hindered in its development. The ignorant must not be restricted by censure and criticism. We must look for the real, true remedy.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 40)

Removal of Imperfections Is Gradual Process

What is needed is excellence of character and conduct, and compliance with the laws revealed by Bahá'u'lláh -- these are the magnets that attract divine confirmation, and the means of establishing the validity and uniqueness of the Cause of the All-Glorious.

The removal of imperfections is a gradual process. Constant advice and admonition are necessary so that, step by step, the community may make good the various deficiencies that beset it and run its affairs on a planned and orderly basis.

(Shoghi Effendi, Trustworthiness, pp. 352-53)

Individual Can Acquire Skills Needed to Change

Communication free of violence, coercion and manipulation is essential for the maintenance of healthy interpersonal relationships. Being an effective communicator in interpersonal relationships requires the ability to identify one's own feelings and the assertiveness to express them in ways that do not injure others. Many individuals who abuse are inexperienced at identifying feelings or too passive to express them directly, 'stuffing' feelings until they explode rather than being assertive, direct, and respectful in the expression of them. Often they feel that the only choice is to be dominant or a 'doormat,' or, in other words, either to be completely in control or to be walked upon, leading to a constant quest for control of others, a quest which usually finds it fullest expression within the relative security of the family. However, the skills and tools needed to identify and express feelings and to change abusive patterns of behavior can be acquired with training, effort and guidance.

Assist Person Who Abuses to Seek Professional Counseling

The Assembly should assist the person who abuses to obtain appropriate anger management counseling and/or join an offender treatment program. Good counseling programs assist abusers to become accountable and responsible for their behavior through confrontation and support for change with the assistance of trained facilitators, peers, and professional therapists in a safe and confidential environment. In cases of abuse involving addictions, including sexual addiction, treatment by specialists in behavioral addictions may be advisable.²⁶

All Who Abuse Do Not Fit Same Mold

All those who abuse do not fit the same mold. While some are extremely resistant to intervention or treatment others may be able to accept responsibility for their behavior. Some individuals who abuse may live with acute, and often hidden, feelings of shame and self-loathing. Despite the suffering they bring to others, they may be in need of compassion and forgiveness themselves and may hope for rehabilitation with intervention and assistance. These individuals would be in need of a supportive, loving, non-judgmental community as they strive to overcome abusive behaviors. However, this should not be interpreted to mean that an individual who abuses may shift responsibility for any lack of progress to his or her family members, community, or Bahá'í administrative institutions.

Encourage Participation in Bahá'í Men's or Women's Group

While Bahá'í men's or women's groups cannot substitute for treatment programs, if there is a Bahá'í men's or women's group in the area and if the Assembly determines it will not involve further risk to any party, it may encourage the abuser to join the gender appropriate group for the benefit of regular social contact with other Bahá'ís who are seeking to identify themselves ever more fully with the precepts of the Faith. According to Bahá'u'lláh:

O MY SON! The company of the ungodly increaseth sorrow, whilst fellowship with the righteous cleanseth the rust from off the heart. He that seeketh to commune with God, let him betake himself to the companionship of His loved ones; and he that desireth to hearken unto the word of God, let him give ear to the words of His chosen ones.

(Bahá'u'lláh, The Hidden Words, Persian no. 56)

Encourage Bahá'í Education

If the administrative rights of an individual who has abused are not restricted, the Assembly may wish to encourage him or her to participate in Bahá'í deepenings, study circles, institutes, and school programs to promote greater understanding of the Bahá'í life with all its privileges, benefits, and responsibilities.

However, depending on the level of recovery of the individual and the existence of protective orders, discretion should be used in arranging participation with others in the community, particularly in any activity that would customarily include the abused party or parties. The Assembly will wish to take the following guidance from the Universal House of Justice into consideration when planning events, recognizing that a civil order of protection or restraint (refer to "Safety First" in the Protect the Abused section) would take precedence over Bahá'í administrative rights:

You have asked whether it is permissible for an individual in whose home a meeting sponsored by the Local Spiritual Assembly is held to stipulate which Bahá'ís cannot attend. . . . Clearly, a distinction must be made between functions sponsored for the benefit of the community by a Bahá'í institution and those which are initiated by individuals at their own discretion. It is, of course, unacceptable that any believer in good standing should be refused admission to a community function sponsored by a Bahá'í institution, whether it is held in the home of one of the believers or in some other place. In deciding on the venue for a community event, the sponsoring institution should maintain this understanding. Whom a person chooses to invite to his or her home at his or her own initiative is, of course, a personal right.

(E-mail written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated August 18, 2002)

Possible Loss of Rights for Abusive Behavior

Abusive Behavior May Result in Deprivation of Bahá'í Administrative Rights

Violent or abusive behavior is a serious violation of Bahá'í law. Depending upon the circumstances, the National Spiritual Assembly may apply the sanction of removing an offender's Bahá'í administrative rights.

If the husband is also a Bahá'í, the Local Spiritual Assembly can bring to his attention the need to avoid abusive behavior and can, if necessary, take firmer measures to compel him to conform to the admonitions of the Teachings.

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, dated April 12, 1990)

Potential for Deprivation of Bahá'í Parental Rights

Bahá'u'lláh has placed great emphasis on the duties of parents toward their children, and He has urged children to have gratitude in their hearts for their parents, whose good pleasure they should strive to win as a means of pleasing God Himself. However, He has indicated that under certain circumstances, the parents could be deprived of the right of parenthood as a consequence of their actions. The Universal House of Justice has the right to legislate on this matter. It has decided for the present that all cases should be referred to it in which the conduct or character of a parent appears to render him unworthy of having such parental rights as that of giving consent to marriage. Such questions could arise, for example, when a parent has committed incest, or when the child was conceived as a consequence of rape, and also when a parent consciously fails to protect the child from flagrant sexual abuse.

(Letter written of behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

Legal Parental Rights May Be Terminated by Civil Courts

Parents who are found guilty of abusing or neglecting their children may also be subject to termination of their legal parental rights through the civil courts. Laws governing these matters vary from state to state.

Report to National Spiritual Assembly

[Refer also to Chapter 15, Application of Bahá'í Law, in Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities: Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies.]

Report Domestic Violence to National Assembly

The National Assembly wishes to be informed of incidents of domestic violence within its jurisdiction, whether or not they result in criminal conviction, civil penalties, or a recommendation for Bahá'í administrative sanctions. However, unsubstantiated allegations need not be reported (refer to "When Allegations Are False or Unsubstantiated" in the Investigate the Facts section).

If there is no Local Spiritual Assembly in an area where domestic violence occurs, the National Spiritual Assembly should be informed and may assign a Local Assembly to handle the matter. In specific cases, it may ask a Local Assembly to provide periodic status reports on cases under its jurisdiction or to which it has been assigned.

In situations where the civil authorities are involved, the Assembly will not generally come to a final administrative decision until the civil or criminal investigation and any court proceedings are complete. In cases where the outcome of the investigation or court proceedings is not clear (for example, if there is insufficient legal evidence to try the case or to compel a conviction) or is unduly delayed, the Assembly may still have reason to believe that misconduct occurred and that the accused is still a danger. In such situations, the Assembly should convey its views to the National Assembly, supported by whatever documentation it has, and recommend whatever administrative actions it feels are appropriate.

Decision to Publicize Sex Offense Rests with National Assembly

Only the National Spiritual Assembly should take the action of publishing or announcing to the Bahá'í community that an individual is a sex offender. A Local Spiritual Assembly should not make such announcements or publish such information in local bulletins unless the National Assembly has instructed it to do so. In its consideration of the facts and circumstances of each case, the National Assembly will determine whether a public statement about the offender is warranted. If the Local Spiritual Assembly believes that such information should be conveyed to other individuals, its community or to a neighboring Assembly, it should seek the guidance of the National Assembly before taking any action.

Recommendations for Administrative Sanctions

In all cases involving the possible removal or restoration of a believer's administrative rights, the Local Spiritual Assembly should forward a recommendation to the National Spiritual Assembly with reasons for the recommendation and all necessary background for the case. A report to the National Spiritual Assembly should include the following:

After reviewing the report, the National Assembly may ask the Local Assembly for further information before making a decision.

Recommendations for administrative sanctions may range from partial to full deprivation of administrative rights and may include, but are not limited to, a requirement to promptly report any change of locality to the institutions of the Faith, restrictions on a believer's unsupervised contact with children or youth in Bahá'í activities, and restrictions on the privilege of representing the Faith publicly or being appointed to a position in which the person would be viewed as a role model in the Bahá'í community.

Appeals and Restoration of Administrative Rights

Procedures for appealing the National Spiritual Assembly's decisions and for restoring administrative rights may be found in Chapter 15 of Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities: Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies.

Support Families

Foster Spirit of Loving Support for Families

Overcoming domestic violence requires developing an environment in the community in which abusive behavior is not tolerated, in which individuals are sensitive to the warning signs of abuse, in which no individuals or families are so isolated that they have no one to turn to in times of difficulty, and in which there is a "spirit of loving encouragement and support to families..."²⁷

Engage Community in Family Development

While preserving the confidentiality of specific situations, Assemblies should engage the assistance of the Bahá'í community in developing family life activities for community members of all ages by encouraging friendships, mentoring, peer support, role-modeling and community activities that offer a framework within which spiritual, social and educational development of all families may take place.

Marriage and Family Is Bedrock Structure of Human Society

The Bahá'í teachings…center on marriage and the family as the bedrock of the whole structure of human society and are designed to protect and strengthen that divine institution.

(The Universal House of Justice, Notes, The Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 223)

Unity of Family Must Be Sustained

According to the teachings of Bahá'u'lláh the family, being a human unit, must be educated according to the rules of sanctity. All the virtues must be taught the family. The integrity of the family bond must be constantly considered, and the rights of the individual members must not be transgressed. The rights of the son, the father, the mother - none of them must be transgressed, none of them must be arbitrary. Just as the son has certain obligations to his father, the father, likewise, has certain obligations to his son. The mother, the sister and other members of the household have their certain prerogatives. All these rights and prerogatives must be conserved, yet the unity of the family must be sustained. The injury of one shall be considered the injury of all; the comfort of each, the comfort of all; the honor of one, the honor of all.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 168)

Abuse Is Antithesis of Unity

Unity is created and maintained through cooperation, consultation, mutual consideration and respect, not through coercion, threats, and abuse. As the Universal House of Justice has written, "abuse of any kind, whether emotional, mental or physical . . . is the very antithesis of the relationship of mutual respect and equality enjoined by the Bahá'í writings . . . ." For a husband to "beat his wife, or subject her to any form of cruel treatment . . . would be an unacceptable abuse of the marriage relationship . . . ." The Universal House of Justice considers it a "matter of fundamental importance" that "resolute efforts, including medical ones, as necessary, should be made to curb acts of aggression within families, particularly their extreme forms of wife beating and child abuse by parents." (See these quotations in full in the Bahá'í Laws, Principles and Exhortations Applying to Domestic Violence section.)

Abuse May Lead to Estrangement, Separation or Divorce

Given the value of marriage as a divine institution, Bahá'ís should make great efforts to create, preserve and strengthen healthy marriages, drawing upon the power of prayer and spiritual transformation, learning to consult, seeking guidance in the Bahá'í Writings, exploring creative solutions to problems, and requesting assistance from Bahá'í institutions and/or professional counselors as necessary. Knowing the spiritual value of the effort to overcome difficulties in close personal relationships, Bahá'ís should not readily give up on a marriage or family relationship. At the same time, respect for the institution of marriage does not justify ignoring abuse, failing to assist someone who is suffering abuse, or failing to call to account one who is perpetrating abuse.

There are situations in which the behavior of some family member(s) jeopardizes the physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual health and well-being of others to such an extent, and there is so little indication that the abusive behavior will abate, that there may be no other recourse than for the abused party or parties to withdraw from the destructive relationship, temporarily or indefinitely. Although individuals should strive to be forgiving and forbearing for whatever injuries were inflicted in the past, no one is obliged to submit to further abuse. (See also "Decision to Leave Can Only be Made by Victim" in Protect the Abused section, and "Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships" in Definition of Domestic Violence section.)

Such an attitude (forgiveness and insight into their actions) does not preclude your being prudent in deciding upon the appropriate amount of contact with your parents. In reaching your decision you should be guided by such factors as their degree of remorse over what they inflicted on you in the past, the extent of their present involvement in practices which are contrary to the Bahá'í teachings, and the level of vulnerability you perceive within yourself to being influenced adversely by them. In the process of reaching a decision, you may find it useful to seek the advice of professionals such as your therapist.

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated September 9, 1992)

If a Bahá'í woman suffers abuse or is subjected to rape by her husband, she has the right to turn to the Spiritual Assembly for assistance and counsel, or to seek legal protection. Such abuse would gravely jeopardize the continuation of the marriage, and could lead to a condition of irreconcilable antipathy.

(Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, dated January 24, 1993)

(For information regarding Bahá'í divorce, see Chapter 17 of Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities.)

Challenge to Preserve Unity and Develop Spiritual Patterns of Family Life

One of the heavy responsibilities of an Assembly is to assist families recovering from past abuses or struggling to stay together despite existing patterns of abuse, which may vary widely in kind and degree, to develop spiritual patterns of family life and to create as much unity as possible. As marriage and family are the bedrock of human society, the Assembly will wish neither for a family to hold together to conceal abuse, nor to dissolve its bonds if there are means to preserve them while protecting the safety and well-being of its members.

Appoint Representative or Task Force to Respond to Special Needs

The Assembly may wish to appoint a representative or task force to keep in close contact with and respond to the special needs of families and individuals coping with or recovering from situations of domestic violence. This may reduce the degree of isolation experienced by the family. Individuals or families struggling with the complex emotional and relationship issues resulting from abuse by family members should never be the subject of backbiting, gossip or judgment by others. As representatives of the Assembly, appointees would be required to uphold the same high standards of confidentiality as the Assembly with regard to sensitive personal matters and should become thoroughly familiar with the contents of this supplement.

Auxiliary Board May Perform Vital Supporting Role

Auxiliary Board members and their assistants may perform a vital role in providing guidance and encouragement to both individuals and Assemblies, particularly with respect to community functioning and supporting those affected by domestic violence.

Be Sensitive to Differing Needs of Individuals and Families in Distress

It can be difficult to understand what to do to help families or individuals in distress. Families already separated by domestic violence will need a different kind of assistance than families struggling to hold themselves together in spite of it. When attempting to assist families, the Assembly should bear in mind the particular circumstances and needs of each family. The experiences of every family are different and the experiences of each person in a family differ from one another. Each member of a family affected by domestic abuse needs age appropriate support for her or his own particular experience. The Assembly should be aware that the need for assistance in a variety of forms may continue over a prolonged period of time.

Assemblies should be sensitive to the particular structure and background culture of each family (refer to "Ethnic and Cultural Sensitivity Issues" in the Special Considerations section). There are many variations, other than the Western nuclear family model, on how families may be structured. Some variations include families where the in-laws live in the same residence with the family. In others, extended families may live close-by but not in the same household or unit, with much coming and going through doors that are always open or unlocked. In addition, there may be stepfamilies, foster families, grandparent-headed households where neither parent is present, or other combinations of relatives or others living in the same household.

The Assembly should strive to be understanding and supportive concerning the position of each individual in the family, and recognize that expectations of behavior for different members, depending on their position in the family, may differ from culture to culture. When all members of a household are of the same cultural background, they often share the same assumptions concerning the roles of family members. These assumptions may be similar to or different from those held by members of the Assembly.

Assembly Should Not Assume Role of Therapist

In every aspect of offering assistance to families or individuals, the Assembly must always bear in mind that it cannot, and must not, try to assume the role of therapist for which it is neither mandated nor equipped. It may be helpful, in some circumstances, for the Assembly to provide general information to a therapist about the teachings of the Bahá'í Faith and its guidance on domestic violence.

Spiritual Transformation Is Primary Means of Progress

In addition to the requirement for individuals with abusive behavior patterns to assume responsibility for their actions and to engage in programs for transformation of their behaviors, the importance of individual and collective spiritual transformation in families cannot be overemphasized as a primary means of progress in establishing spiritual patterns of family life. Bahá'u'lláh has stated that the purpose of religious revelation is to cause a positive change in the character of every person:

Is not the object of every Revelation to effect a transformation in the whole character of mankind, a transformation that shall manifest itself both outwardly and inwardly, that shall affect both its inner life and external conditions? For if the character of mankind be not changed, the futility of God's universal Manifestations would be apparent.

(Bahá'u'lláh, The Kitáb-i-Iqán, p. 240)

Every Soul Created Noble and Capable of Transformation

Bahá'u'lláh assures every soul of having been created noble and that it can, through the grace and aid of God and its own efforts, rise to the state of nobility for which it was created, no matter what its present state. It is this intrinsic quality of nobility that ensures the capacity of souls to transform:

O SON OF SPIRIT! Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then unto that for which thou wast created.

(Bahá'u'lláh, The Hidden Words, Arabic no. 22)

Assemblies may wish to encourage families to understand and remember that the inherent nobility of human souls to rise to the challenges of transformation offers hope of overcoming every problem. Assemblies may also wish to bear in mind that there are reciprocal effects on relationships and opportunities for development within the family as individual members traverse stages of transformation.

Essential Qualities for Transformation of Families

Qualities that stand out as fundamental and essential for success in rebuilding damaged family relationships include truthfulness and trustworthiness, supported by love, respect, and courtesy.

According to 'Abdu'l-Bahá, a lack of truthfulness renders progress impossible:

Truthfulness, He asserts, "is the foundation of all human virtues. Without truthfulness progress and success, in all the worlds of God, are impossible for any soul. When this holy attribute is established in man, all the divine qualities will also be acquired."

('Abdu'l-Bahá, quoted by Shoghi Effendi in The Advent of Divine Justice, p. 26)

Bahá'u'lláh has explained that stability, tranquility and security depend upon trustworthiness:

The fourth Taráz concerneth trustworthiness. Verily it is the door of security for all that dwell on earth and a token of glory on the part of the All-Merciful. He who partaketh thereof hath indeed partaken of the treasures of wealth and prosperity. Trustworthiness is the greatest portal leading unto the tranquility and security of the people. In truth the stability of every affair hath depended and doth depend upon it. All the domains of power, of grandeur and of wealth are illumined by its light.

(Bahá'u'lláh, Tablets of Bahá'u'lláh, p. 37)

Love, respect, and courtesy are referred to by the Universal House of Justice as indispensable to successful spiritual relationships, which are a primary objective of family life. Spiritual love within a family binds the hearts of family members together and inspires and sustains them through every difficulty. Respect is essential in that it determines the fundamental attitude and demeanor of family members toward each other in their actions, speech, and expression of emotions, even of love. Various dictionaries record the antonyms of respect as abuse, misuse, and contempt, which imply that in the absence of respect some form of abuse is almost inevitable. Finally, the quality of courtesy is necessary to sustain civil exchanges in emotionally charged situations, which inevitably happen in the course of family life.

They must, in the first place, approach their joint responsibilities within the framework of the spiritual requisites for all successful Bahá'í relationships. Where love, respect and courtesy are genuinely and mutually expressed, estrangement finds no accommodation and problems become soluble challenges.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States, dated May 19, 1994)

Suggestions Assemblies May Find Useful in Assisting Families

There are many strategies and approaches to assisting families in recovery from patterns of abuse. While the Assembly is encouraged to seek expert advice and must avoid assuming the role of therapist, it is free to devise its own approach for encouraging families to engage in spiritual transformation as well as developmental programs that will support their progress. Any suggestions an Assembly makes to families or individuals concerning possible strategies to increase unity are not a substitute for counseling or other therapeutic interventions. In offering suggestions, the Assembly will wish to be flexible and avoid a 'one-size fits all' approach.

Many useful programs are offered through locally based agencies and most counties offer programs designed to assist families with relational, behavioral, social and emotional problems. In addition, national organizations may offer local resources for mentoring and in-home help. Many community service organizations welcome volunteers and are receptive to establishing partnerships with local faith-based organizations to serve community needs. Assemblies may initiate partnerships to serve the needs of the Bahá'í community in collaboration with organizations that have a record of valuing relationships with small faith-based organizations. Individual Bahá'ís may also volunteer to participate in some of these programs to receive training and serve the needs of the Bahá'í community. Local contact information can be obtained through state child and family services offices or through the Web sites and other resources noted in the Resource List of National Support Organizations at the end of this supplement.

Children Are Most Precious Treasure of Community

Children are the most precious treasure a community can possess, for in them are the promise and guarantee of the future. They bear the seeds of the character of future society which is largely shaped by what the adults constituting the community do or fail to do with respect to children. They are a trust no community can neglect with impunity. An all-embracing love of children, the manner of treating them, the quality of the attention shown them, the spirit of adult behavior toward them--these are all among the vital aspects of the requisite attitude. Love demands discipline, the courage to accustom children to hardship, not to indulge their whims or leave them entirely to their own devices. An atmosphere needs to be maintained in which children feel that they belong to the community and share in its purpose. They must lovingly but insistently be guided to live up to Bahá'í standards, to study and teach the Cause in ways that are suited to their circumstances.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to the Bahá'ís of the World, Ridván 2000)

World Is Laden with Moral Dangers and Harsh Realities for Children

Our children need to be nurtured spiritually and to be integrated into the life of the Cause. They should not be left to drift in a world so laden with moral dangers…It grieves our hearts to realize that in so many parts of the world children are employed as soldiers, exploited as laborers, sold into virtual slavery, forced into prostitution, made the objects of pornography, abandoned by parents centered on their own desires, and subjected to other forms of victimization too numerous to mention. Many such horrors are inflicted by the parents themselves upon their own children . . . .

It must be borne in mind, too, that children live in a world that informs them of harsh realities through direct experience with the horrors already described or through the unavoidable outpourings of the mass media. Many of them are thereby forced to mature prematurely, and among these are those who look for standards and discipline by which to guide their lives. Against this gloomy backdrop of a decadent society, Bahá'í children should shine as the emblems of a better future.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to the Bahá'ís of the World, Ridván 2000)

Support for Abused Children and Youth

In addition to professional counseling and other interventions that may be provided, children and youth who have been abused need regular, loving and supportive interactions within the Bahá'í community, including social activities, spiritual education, and opportunities for service.

The Assembly may also wish to suggest tutors or mentors for abused children or youth. Mentoring helps young people rediscover trust in others and a sense of value in themselves, as well as providing role models for responsible and spiritual behavior. If suitable mentoring resources are not available within the Bahá'í community, they may be found through national or local organizations, some of which are noted in the Resource List of National Support Organizations at the end of this supplement. (Refer also to "Cautions for Child Abuse Cases" and "Child or Youth Victims Have Special Needs and Should Receive Counseling" in the Special Considerations section.)

Support for Single Parents with Dependent Families

Single parents emerging from domestic violence situations may need heightened levels of support in many ways, in part because they often face either abandonment or hostility and threats from the absent parent. Such needs may include but are not limited to the following, some of which may also apply to single parents in general:

There is a wide range of financial, training, mentoring, and assisting services available in many local communities, in addition to supports such as emergency food, utilities and rent/mortgage payment offered directly by towns and cities through their general assistance or relief offices.

It may be helpful if the Assembly follows up to be sure that needed support has been received. In some cases, there may be unexpected barriers to obtaining assistance, for example, ineligibility for services due to being marginally over income or lacking proof of income, which may occur when the abuser is the bread-winner and withholds necessary information or has neglected to file tax returns.

Support for Families with Elderly Members

Assemblies may wish to encourage Bahá'ís with elderly family members in the home to take courses in how to care for elderly individuals. Many such courses will provide care-giving instructions as well as information about developmental losses in aging, which if not understood, may be a contributing factor in abuse.

Caregivers with the dual responsibilities of caring for both children and aging parents may experience high levels of stress. Assemblies may wish to suggest alternative care measures such as respite care, adult day care, and or homemaker services offered through local or national service organizations for families facing these kinds of pressures (refer to the Resource List of National Support Organizations). Visiting aids from some programs may assist through decreasing isolation, modeling communication skills for other family members, and providing advocacy when needed. (Refer also to "Elderly Victims May Have Special Needs" in the Special Considerations section.)

When possible, elders in the community should be actively engaged in participating in the life of the community, their skills and experience recognized and valued in service. In many cases, it will be necessary to provide transportation for elders to participate in community activities. The Assembly should cultivate an awareness and habit in the community of ensuring that its elders are fully welcomed into its life, that their skills and experience are utilized to the extent possible in consultation and service, and that means of including them are made available on an outreach basis. Many older people will not ask for assistance but may appreciate being picked up and taken to community events, having regular visitors and companionship, assistance with home repairs, gardening, maintenance chores, and transportation to and from appointments and shopping, if their independent means are limited. These services are especially important if they have no family nearby who are attentive to their needs and could be a rewarding area of service for youth and others in the community. The Assembly may also wish to provide a mechanism for ensuring that regular telephone calls are made to elderly members of the community to decrease isolation and provide a regular means of checking on their well-being.

When Situation Does Not Resolve Favorably

Assemblies should be aware that some situations of domestic abuse will not resolve favorably even after all avenues for protection and remediation have been explored. Threats may continue to exist over extended periods of time and family members may be faced with continuing uncertainty, apprehension, and fears for safety. Among the ways to strengthen individuals to deal with such situations is to encourage and assist them to do whatever is realistically possible to remedy the situation according to the guidance in this supplement, and then to turn their hearts to God and trust in Him for, in the end, the lives of all people are in God's hands:

He does not feel that fear - for ourselves or for others - solves any problem, or enables us to better meet it if it ever does arise. We do not know what the future holds exactly, or how soon we may all pass through another ordeal worse than the last one.

But what we do know is that all we can do as Bahá'ís is to teach and to exemplify the Faith. We cannot bear the burden of suffering of others, and we should not try to. All men are in God's hands, and even if they do get killed we know there is another life beyond this than can hold great hope and happiness for the soul.

No matter what happens, nothing is as important as our feeling of trust in God, our inner peacefulness and faith that all, in the end, in spite of the severity of the ordeals we may pass through, will come out as Bahá'u'lláh has promised.

He urges you to put these dark thoughts from your mind, and remember that if God, the Creator of all men, can bear to see them suffer so, it is not for us to question His wisdom. He can compensate the innocent, in His own way, for the afflictions they bear.

(Letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, dated September 30, 1950)

In such situations, when the Assembly has done what it can in other ways, it should not hesitate to continue to remember the family in its prayers, as this may prove to be a source of special assistance and great comfort to those involved.

On the Mystery of Suffering

Assemblies should be sensitive to the fact that suffering brought about by domestic abuse or violence encompasses not only that inflicted directly on victims, but also the anguish of other family members concerning both injury to victims and the reprehensible actions of loved ones who abuse, the distress of those who witness abuse directly or indirectly, and the inner torment of offenders. Those who are faced with such tests often try to understand why and how such things occur. The Bahá'í Writings provide assurance that there is meaning and wisdom in suffering, although we may not always understand it. Shoghi Effendi explains it as follows:

As to your question concerning the meaning of physical suffering and its relation to mental and spiritual healing. Physical pain is a necessary accompaniment of all human existence, and as such is unavoidable. As long as there will be life on earth, there will be also suffering, in various forms and degrees. But suffering, although an inescapable reality, can nevertheless be utilised as a means for the attainment of happiness. This is the interpretation given to it by all the prophets and saints who, in the midst of severe tests and trials, felt happy and joyous and experienced what is best and holiest in life. Suffering is both a reminder and a guide. It stimulates us better to adapt ourselves to our environmental conditions, and thus leads the way to self-improvement. In every suffering one can find a meaning and a wisdom. But it is not always easy to find the secret of that wisdom. It is sometimes only when all our suffering has passed that we become aware of its usefulness. What man considers to be evil turns often to be a cause of infinite blessings. And this is due to his desire to know more than he can. God's wisdom is, indeed, inscrutable to us all, and it is no use pushing too far trying to discover that which shall always remain a mystery to our mind.

(Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 434)

'Abdu'l-Bahá offers the encouragement that suffering and self-sacrifice can purify and advance the mind and spirit and lead to the attainment of eternal happiness, and that when an individual turns to God and draws upon his or her higher nature in facing difficult tests the soul will progress. He also warns that should the individual turn to his or her lower nature in response to the test there will be retrogression:

Does the soul progress more through sorrow or through the joy in this world? '

'Abdu'l-Bahá - `The mind and spirit of man advance when he is tried by suffering. The more the ground is ploughed the better the seed will grow, the better the harvest will be. Just as the plough furrows the earth deeply, purifying it of weeds and thistles, so suffering and tribulation free man from the petty affairs of this worldly life until he arrives at a state of complete detachment. His attitude in this world will be that of divine happiness. Man is, so to speak, unripe: the heat of the fire of suffering will mature him. Look back to the times past and you will find that the greatest men have suffered most.

`He who through suffering has attained development, should he fear happiness?'

'Abdu'l-Bahá - `Through suffering he will attain to an eternal happiness which nothing can take from him. The apostles of Christ suffered: they attained eternal happiness.'

`Then it is impossible to attain happiness without suffering?'

'Abdu'l-Bahá - `To attain eternal happiness one must suffer. He who has reached the state of self-sacrifice has true joy. Temporal joy will vanish.'

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Paris Talks, pp. 178-79)

The souls who bear the tests of God become the manifestations of great bounties; for the divine trials cause some souls to become entirely lifeless, while they cause the holy souls to ascend to the highest degree of love and solidity. They cause progress and they also cause retrogression.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Tablets of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, Vol. 2, p.324)

As to the subject of babes and infants and weak ones who are afflicted by the hands of oppressors: This contains great wisdom and this subject is of paramount importance. In brief, for those souls there is a recompense in another world and many details are connected with this matter. For those souls that suffering is the greatest mercy of God. Verily that mercy of the Lord is far better and preferable to all the comfort of this world and the growth and development of this place of mortality. If it be the will of God, when thou shalt be present this will be explained in detail by word of mouth.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Tablets of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, Vol. 2, p. 337, cited in Star of the West, Vol. 9, p. 101)

Recognizing that suffering may be the cause of spiritual development is never a justification for inflicting or ignoring abuse, failing to assist those who are suffering abuse, or failing to call to account one who is perpetrating abuse. But for those who have suffered abuse and are struggling to rebuild unity, to heal or transform themselves and their relationships, or to continue on in the face of intractable difficulties, it may be a source of courage and solace to know that such trials provide the opportunity for spiritual progress.

Wisdom Attained May Prevent Future Suffering

The present condition of society, with its high rates of divorce and of violence in the family, is inextricably related to its inevitable transition to a more just and unified world. To the extent that humanity resists and delays its spiritual evolution towards unity, equality, and justice, the suffering brought about by its own waywardness will continue. As patterns of behavior in families become increasingly conducive to the spiritual happiness of their members by incorporating greater justice, equality and unity, society will inevitably reflect those changes through greater security, stability and peace. According to Bahá'u'lláh:

The All-Knowing Physician hath His finger on the pulse of mankind. He perceiveth the disease, and prescribeth, in His unerring wisdom, the remedy. Every age hath its own problem, and every soul its particular aspiration. The remedy the world needeth in its present-day afflictions can never be the same as that which a subsequent age may require. Be anxiously concerned with the needs of the age ye live in, and center your deliberations on its exigencies and requirements.

(Bahá'u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh, p. 213)

Overcoming domestic violence is one of the urgent needs of this age and the suffering resulting from it may become the cause of seeking spiritual solutions to the problems of society and of striving with heart and soul to understand and apply those solutions to prevent further suffering. The hard-won wisdom such suffering and searching bring to the development of individuals, families communities, and institutions may be one of the most precious fruits of the mystery of suffering, inspiring and motivating the struggle towards creating healthier families for a happier and more peaceful world.

The tasks facing the believers everywhere are great, for they see only too clearly that the only permanent remedy for the many afflictions the world is suffering from, is a change of heart and a new pattern of not only thought but personal conduct.

(Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 172)

Educate the Community

Far-reaching Implications in Education of Community

Within every family, every community, and every society, each successive generation has the opportunity to learn from the successes and failures of the preceding generations and to discard or improve patterns of behavior. This is one of the fundamental factors in the advancement of society and is part of the purpose of education. The role of Spiritual Assemblies in this process has far-reaching implications for both the Bahá'í community and the wider society, as they are responsible for the education of Bahá'í communities with respect to Bahá'í law and principle, and for the general enlightenment of the people.

Religion of God Guarantees Felicity of World of Mankind Through Education and Training

And among the teachings of Bahá'u'lláh is that religion is a mighty bulwark. If the edifice of religion shakes and totters, commotion and chaos will ensue and the order of things will be utterly upset, for in the world of mankind there are two safeguards that protect man from wrongdoing. One is the law which punishes the criminal; but the law prevents only the manifest crime and not the concealed sin; whereas the ideal safeguard, namely, the religion of God, prevents both the manifest and the concealed crime, trains man, educates morals, compels the adoption of virtues and is the all-inclusive power which guarantees the felicity of the world of mankind.

('Abdu'l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 302)

Institute Systematic Education Programs on Gender Equality and Bahá'í Marriage

The House of Justice suggests that your efforts to eliminate any traces of domestic violence from the Bahá'í community might well be founded on a systematic program to educate all elements of the Bahá'í community in the implications of the principle of the equality of men and women as set forth in the compilation on women . . . in 1986. Such an educative process focused on the status and role of women, as well as the positive aspects of the marriage relationship described in the Bahá'í teachings, would assist Bahá'í couples to construct marriages which are entirely devoid of abuse or violence, as well as psychological or emotional manipulation, and which are a model to a society searching for harmonious domestic relations.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United Kingdom, dated September 25, 1987)

Spiritual Education of Children and Junior Youth of Paramount Importance

Even though children's activities have been a part of past Plans, these have fallen short of the need. Spiritual education of children and junior youth are of paramount importance to the further progress of the community. It is therefore imperative that this deficiency be remedied. Institutes must be certain to include in their programs the training of teachers of children's classes, who can make their services available to local communities. But although providing spiritual and academic education for children is essential, this represents only a part of what must go into developing their characters and shaping their personalities. The necessity exists, too, for individuals and the institutions at all levels, which is to say the community as a whole, to show a proper attitude towards children and to take a general interest in their welfare. Such an attitude should be far removed from that of a rapidly declining order…

Among the young ones in the community are those known as junior youth, who fall between the ages of, say, 12 and 15. They represent a special group with special needs as they are somewhat in between childhood and youth when many changes are occurring within them. Creative attention must be devoted to involving them in programs of activity that will engage their interests, mold their capacities for teaching and service, and involve them in social interaction with older youth. The employment of the arts in various forms can be of great value in such activity.

(Letter from the Universal House of Justice to the Bahá'ís of the World, Ridván 2000)

Educational Programs Should Reach Every Level of Community

Programs concerning domestic violence should seek to reach every age group and ethnic population within the Bahá'í community through a variety of age appropriate and culturally sensitive delivery systems.

As part of the education of children and youth, they should learn that it is important for them to tell any responsible older person when someone has done something that feels wrong or frightens them, that such telling is not tattling, backbiting or gossiping, and that they have a right to be protected from the misbehavior of others. Children and youth should be enabled to initiate intervention for their own protection and should feel that they are surrounded by a loving and caring Bahá'í community. At the same time, and not in such manner as might deter a child or youth from making a valid report, they must understand the serious consequences of making a false report. This, like so much else on the issue of child abuse, requires careful and delicate consideration.

Suggestions for Assemblies

Some suggested avenues through which Assemblies may seek to eliminate domestic violence are outlined below. For details on how to obtain any of the materials listed please see the resource section which follows.

Bahá'í Resources and References on Related Topics

Compilations, Guidance and Statements from Bahá'í Institutions

Bahá'u'lláh, 'Abdu'l-Bahá, Shoghi Effendi, and the Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance: A Bahá'í Reference File, 6th ed., compiled by Helen Bassett Hornby, (New Delhi: Bahá'í Publishing Trust of India, 1999). **

Bahá'u'lláh, 'Abdu'l-Bahá, Shoghi Effendi, and the Universal House of Justice, Women: Extracts from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh, 'Abdu'l-Bahá, Shoghi Effendi and the Universal House of Justice, compiled by the Research Department of the Universal House of Justice (Thornhill, Ontario: Bahá'í Canada Publications, 1986). **

Universal House of Justice, letter written on its behalf to an individual believer concerning domestic violence (Haifa: Bahá'í World Center, January 24, 1993). Published in The American Bahá'í, November 23, 1993 and January 19, 2002 (Evanston, IL: National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of the United States, 1993 and 2002). [Also available at the Administrative Web Site of the Bahá'ís of the United States under Community Administration, Domestic Violence.]

Bahá'í International Community, Creating Violence-Free Families: Summary Report of Symposium on Strategies for Creating Violence-Free Families, available on-line at http://www.bic-un.bahai.org/94-0526.htm. (New York: Bahá'í International Community, May 1994). [Symposium co-sponsored by Bahá'í International Community, United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF), and United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM)].

Australian National Bahá'í Community Development Committee and Australian National Marriage and Family Development Committee, A Bahá'í Parenting Programme (Mona Vale, NSW: National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of Australia, 1990). **

National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of Australia, Local Spiritual Assembly Handbook, 3rd ed. (Mona Vale, NSW: Bahá'í Publications Australia, 1996). **

National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of New Zealand, Violence in Marriage: A Statement on Violence (Auckland: National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of New Zealand, October 1995).

National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of the United States, Developing Distinctive Bahá'í Communities: Guidelines for Spiritual Assemblies, 1998 ed. [or later] (Evanston, IL: Office of Assembly Development of the National Spiritual Assembly, 1998). [Also available at the Administrative Web Site of the Bahá'ís of the United States under Community Administration, Office of Assembly Development.] **

National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of the United States, Marriage: A Fortress for Well-Being (Wilmette, IL: Bahá'í Publishing Trust, 1984). **

National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of the United States, Two Wings of a Bird: the Equality of Women and Men (Wilmette, IL: Bahá'í Publishing Trust, 1997). **

Institutional Web Sites with Related Information

Administrative Web Site of the Bahá'ís of the United States: http://www.usbnc.org/ (Evanston, IL: National Spiritual Assembly). [Access information on domestic violence by clicking on NSA Departments, then on Community Administration, Domestic Violence.]

Bahá'í International Community Statement Library: http://www.bic-un.bahai.org/ (Haifa, Geneva, and New York: The Bahá'í International Community). [The Bahá'í International Community is a non-governmental organization associated with the United Nations].

Bahá'í Network on Aids, Sexuality, Addictions, and Abuse: http://www.bnasaa.org/ (Thornhill, ON: BNASAA Coordinating Committee of the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of Canada).

Bahá'í Office of Public Information Web Site: http://www.us.bahai.org/equality/wings.html (Evanston, IL: National Spiritual Assembly). [An on-line copy of this supplement is available here, as well as the full text of the National Assembly's statement on equality.]

Louhelen Bahá'í School National Teacher Training Download Center: http://www.louhelen.org/nttc/downloads/index.htm#ADM (Evanston, IL: National Spiritual Assembly).

Publications by Individuals

Blumenthal, Erik, Peace With Your Partner (Oxford: Oneworld Publications, 1992). **

Danesh, Hossein B., The Violence-Free Family: Building Block of a Peaceful Civilization (Ottawa: Association for Bahá'í Studies, 1995). **

Furútan, Alí-Akbar, Mothers, Fathers, and Children: Practical Advice to Parents (Oxford: George Ronald, 1980). **

Khavari, Khalil A. and Sue Williston Khavari, Creating a Successful Family (London: Oneworld, c1989). **

Peterson, Phyllis, Assisting the Traumatized Soul: Healing the Wounded Talisman (Wilmette, IL: Bahá'í Publishing Trust, 1999). **

Popov, Linda Kavelin, Dan Popov, and John Kavelin, The Family Virtues Guide: Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best In Our Children and Ourselves (New York: Plume, 1997). **

Radpour, Mary K., Some Guidance for Spiritual Assemblies Related to Mental Illness and Its Treatment (Chattanooga, TN: Images International, 1999). **

Ruhe, Margaret, Guidelines for Parents, 3rd ed. (New Delhi: Bahá'í Publishing Trust of India, 1989). **

Trainings and Workshops

Assembly Development Module Workshops, Office of Assembly Development, Bahá'í National Center, tel. (847) 733-3490. See module descriptions on the Administrative Web Site http://www.usbnc.org/ under Community Administration, Office of Assembly Development. **

Core Curriculum Training Programs, National Teacher Training Center, Louhelen Bahá'í Center, 3208 S. State Rd, Davison, MI, 810-653-5033. Course descriptions available on-line at http://www.louhelen.org/nttc/index.htm.**

Ruhi Institute materials, Palabra Publications, 7369 Westport Pl, West Palm Beach, FL, tel. (561) 697-9823, http://applemachine.com/palabrapublications. **

** Available through the Bahá'í Distribution Service, 4703 Fulton Industrial Blvd, Atlanta, GA 30336-2017, tel. (404) 472- 9019, orders (800) 999-9019, fax ((404) 472-0119

Dial 911 or your local emergency number
if you or someone you are with needs immediate assistance

Resource List of National Support Organizations

The National Spiritual Assembly does not endorse specific organizations but the following is a partial list of well-known national organizations that offer a variety of services and resources. This list is not exhaustive and is intended only as a starting point for Local Spiritual Assemblies to compile resource lists of services in their own localities.

Domestic Violence Crisis Intervention and Information Organizations

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TDD 1-800-787-3224

National Child Abuse Hotline (Child Help USA): 1-800-422-4453

State Coalition List:

To get help or give help call your State Coalition Office to find the program offering shelter and support nearest to you:

Other U.S. Organizations Concerned with Domestic Violence:

http://www.mentalhealth.org/ (English, Spanish). An award-winning government Web site that offers a wealth of information about mental health. Visitors can order free publications online, search KEN's referral database, read the latest mental health news, and explore links on a variety of mental health-related topics including child abuse, violence, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, self-help/support groups, treatment, and research.

Family Support and Community Service Organizations

America's Promise was founded after the Presidents' Summit for America's Future, April 27-29, 1997, in Philadelphia. Presidents Clinton, Bush, Carter and Ford, with First Lady Nancy Reagan representing her husband, challenged the nation to make youth a national priority. Its mission is to mobilize people from every sector of American life to build the character and competence of our nation's youth.

This is the nation's largest and oldest youth mentoring organization. Professionals in youth development support individual, responsible volunteer relationships…Each potential volunteer is screened, trained, and supervised to help ensure that the relationship will be safe and rewarding for everyone involved.

The National Community Action Foundation provides a directory by state of Community Action Agencies (CAAs) that generally operate at the county level. Local agencies approach their goals [of alleviating poverty and empowering low-income families] by offering a variety of programs that serve low-income children, families, and seniors. They coordinate emergency assistance, provide weatherization services, sponsor youth programs, operate senior centers and provide transportation in rural areas. CAAs provide linkages to job training opportunities, GED preparation courses, and vocational education programs. They provide a range of services addressing poverty-related problems from income management and credit counseling to entrepreneurial development and small business incubators; from domestic violence crisis assistance to family development programs and parenting classes; from food pantries and emergency shelters to low-income housing development and community revitalization projects.

Senior Corps is a network of programs that tap the experience, skills, and talents of older citizens to meet community challenges with Foster Grandparents, Senior Companions, and RSVP (the Retired and Senior Volunteer Program). Across America, Senior Corps works with thousands of nonprofit organizations to promote senior volunteers as resources, and to help place senior volunteers in ways that help local organizations (many of which are small nonprofits, both secular and faith-based) meet
their core missions in the community.

Suggested Crisis Response Guidelines for Assemblies

The following is intended to assist an Assembly secretary or other individual who answers the Bahá'í phone in a local community face the responsibility of responding to a crisis call. Spiritual Assemblies may modify these guidelines to better suit local needs as an aspect of developing their own crisis response plans.

What to Do

1) Without making a judgment, assume that the caller is telling the truth.

2) Find out if there is any immediate danger. Ask: "Is anyone in any immediate danger?"

a) If the answer is yes, encourage the person to call 911 or the local police right away. It is best if the caller makes the call. Have the number for the police at hand to give out if 911 is not available in your area.

b) If the caller seems reluctant or hesitant, offer to call on her or his behalf. "Would you like me to call the police for you?" If the answer is yes, find out where the person is calling from and how to get there, as well as the caller's name and phone number, if you do not know. Immediately relay that information to the local police. DO NOT go to the home or location yourself.

3) Determine the immediate needs of the caller. Ask such questions as: "Are you safe? Can you talk now?" "Do you need medical help?" "Do you need immediate help, such as a safe place to go and the means to get there or a place where you can make phone calls safely?" "Do you need someone to help take care of the children?"

4) Find out if the call is for the Assembly. Ask: "Are you calling to bring this to the attention of the Assembly or did you just want to talk to me personally?" "Do you want to meet with the Assembly?" If it is a personal contact, follow the guidance in the "Role of Individual" section of the Supplement.

5) Respond to the call in a calm, assertive, and supportive manner. "You were right to bring this to the attention of the Assembly, and it took courage to do it. No one has the right to abuse anyone." Do not express shock or disbelief, as these responses may discourage the person from contacting the Assembly again or reinforce his or her sense of embarrassment, shame, or feeling of responsibility for the abuse.

6) Find out whether the person wants help and what he or she wants help with. Use open-ended questions and give the person the opportunity to speak freely without interruption. Ask such questions as: "What prompted you to call?" "Would you like to tell me about what happened?" "How do you think the Assembly can help?"

7) If there is screaming or other indications of violence at any time during the call, ask: "Is everyone all right?" "Do you want me to call the police for you?" If the answer is yes, respond as in 2b above.

8) Provide information or referrals as needed. A local referral list should be part of the Assembly's plan. "The Assembly has instructed me to maintain a file of information on legal, medical, welfare, and shelter services available, as well as a list of friends who would be glad to accompany you. Please let me know what would be helpful to you." (Refer to "Safety First" in the "Protect the Abused" section of the Supplement.)

9) Assure the caller of the confidentiality of information pertaining to the call. "The Assembly will keep this information confidential to the extent the law allows." "Does [name of the alleged abuser] have a close friend or relative on the Assembly?"

10) Assure the caller that the Spiritual Assembly will pray for everyone involved.

11) Inform the caller of actions that the Assembly will be taking on his or her behalf. "The Assembly is meeting Sunday, and we will consult on this matter. I will call you with additional information on Monday." "The Assembly will arrange a contact liaison for you and will let you know who that will be."

12) Arrange promptly for a contact person to serve as a liaison between the Assembly and the caller, if the person answering the phone does not perform this function.

13) Make a report to the Assembly. However, if the alleged abuser, or a relative or close friend of the alleged abuser, is a member of the Assembly, it is suggested that the person receiving the call contact the National Spiritual Assembly for advice rather than reporting directly to the Assembly. (Refer to "When Alleged Abuser Is Assembly Member" in the section of the Supplement titled "Role and Responsibilities of Local Spiritual Assemblies: General Considerations.")

How to Do It

Do

Don't

Caution

While an Assembly should be prepared to do everything possible to ensure the safety of everyone involved in any domestic violence situation that comes to its attention, it should not attempt to set up a crisis hotline or response unit, as those are not its functions, nor should it place other members of the community in danger by attempting to intervene directly in a crisis situation.

Endnotes