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| AU1_1ST | Ian |
| AU1_2ND | Kluge |
| LG1_THIS | English |
| FILE_NAME | kluge_coming_out |
| EDIT | 2 |
| FRMT | 2 |
| DATE_THIS | 2001 |
| COLLECTION1 | Fiction |
| COLLECTION2 | Scripts |
| TITLE_THIS | Coming Out |
| POST_DATE | 2001-11-28 |
| POST_BY | Jonah Winters |
| PERMISSION | author |
| BLURB | Short, humorous play depicting the confusions that can result from trying to be too delicate in announcing one's commitment to the Bahá'í Faith. |
| NOTES | "Coming Out" was inspired by a remark by Gail Morong. |
| CONTENT | Characters: Four good friends, all in their early 20's.
A table in a coffee-bar. The 4 characters are sitting at the table. Richard: [ Hesitantly] You're probably ... wondering why ... I ... invited you here ... Lindsey: You want to start paying back all the coffee you owe me ... Richard: [Sheepishly] Well, that too ... I guess Tasha: And ...? Greg: [Mocking] Let me guess - you're going to reveal the deepest, darkest, most horrible secret of your life ... Richard: [Stunned] Holy smokes! How did you know? Greg: [Surprised] I guessed it? Lindsey: [Mocking, with appropriate hand-gestures] OOOOO Greg, maybe you're psychic ... Mr. Greg sees all, tells all ... Greg: [Leaning forward and staring at Lindsey; then in a foreign accent] Look into my eyes - and I will read your mind like a book ... Tasha: [Rolling her eyes; slightly annoyed] O give it a rest would you ... [Touching Richard's arm] What's it about, Richard ...? Richard: [Hangs his head] Me. [ There is a pause. Just enough to be noticeable, Richard's 3 friends glance at each other.] Lindsey: [Exasperated] I think ... we kind of knew that ... Tasha: [Sympathetically] And ...? Richard: [Looking down] Guys ... I ... I ... don't know how to say this but ... Tasha: [Sympathetically] O come on now, we're all friends ... Lindsey: Just in case you haven't noticed ... Richard: Well ... it's ... just not ... easy ... Lindsey: [Impatient] Come on Ricky-boy, spit it out ... Greg: Yeah, we're all big, we can take it ... Richard: [Worried, embarrassed] I know ... it's just that ... I should have ... told you ... earlier - months ago ... Greg: I forgive you. Lindsey: Hold on there! He doesn't get off that easy. He's got to do penance. He can buy me more coffee ... Tasha: Oh cut it, you guys, just let him talk ... Lindsey: I wish he would ... Tasha: [Turning to him] Richard, you said you should have told us months ago - Richard: Well, I really should have ... but I didn't ... and that makes it worse ... Tasha: [Gently coaxing] O don't worry about that. Just tell us now ... What's it about? Richard: Me. Lindsey: [Flops back in her chair, groaning in exasperation] Greg: [Annoyed] What's the big secret, man? Look at all the stuff we told each other before ... Can't be any bigger than some of that ... Richard: No, no, it's much bigger than anything like that ... Lindsey: [Now trampling her feet in frustration] Tasha: You know we're your friends - even though Lindsey's being a bit of jerk right now. So, why don't you just tell us ... it'll be so much better ... Richard: I want to ... but it's so ... so different ... Lindsey: Yeah, we'll understand ... even a jerk like me. Richard: I know, guys, I know, but it's just not that easy ... Lindsey: [Suddenly sitting up and looking at Richard] Tell me, Richard, this wouldn't be a ...a ... male bonding thing - would it? Richard: [Thinks for a moment} Yeah ... in a sort of way ... [There is a moment of silence as the possible implications of this sink in.] Tasha: [Immediately sympathetic] But that's not a problem - at least not for us girls ... [Looks at Lindsey] Lindsey: Definitely not for me ... Greg: Hey man, I'm open-minded. Tasha: [A little forced; she has romantic designs on Richard] Me too ... for sure ... Lindsey: Whatever floats your boat ... it's fine with me. No big deal here. Greg: Hey, you're my friend, no matter what. I respect your choice - and you respect mine - that's what friends are about ... I may not understand it, but ... Richard: [Breathing a big sigh of relief] Oh man, I'm so glad you guys understand. I was so worried. Cause things will be a a bit different from here on in ... Tasha: [Obviously disappointed] Just a bit ... [She turns away] Lindsey: [Sees Tasha's disappointment and tries to cheer her up by sounding cheerful herself] But it's not the end of the world. It's a start to a whole new world ... new adventures and all that stuff ... Richard: Well, you know ... I won't be going to the bar any more .... Greg: Are you crazy? Say man, when did all this happen? Richard: A couple of weeks ago. When I finally got my card ... Lindsey: [Incredulous] You need a card for that? Richard: [Enthusiastic] Oh yeah ... to get registered and all that kind of stuff ... Greg: [Suspicious] What do you mean registered? Richard: So they know who's part of it ... no big deal ... but it's got to be done ... Lindsey: [Defiant] I wouldn't go on some register... there's gotta be a law about that somewhere ... It's like communism or Nazis or something ... Richard: [Defensive] Well, they've got to ... administration and all that stuff ... Greg: [Somewhat angry] So they can pick you up any time they like ...? Lindsey: And make you wear a pink triangle ... Richard: Pink triangle? Are you kidding? These guys use nine-pointed stars ... Tasha: [Puzzled] I can't remember reading anything about nine-pointed stars in my history books ... Greg: [Appalled] So what do you need all this registration for ? Richard: Well, once in a while for some of the special meetings ... Greg: [Stunned] Meetings? Tasha: Support group meetings ... Richard: Not really, it's not a support group ... Lindsey: OK, get-togethers... call 'em whatever ... for others like you ... Richard: Exactly. But don't worry, I want you all there! I'll invite you to some of our parties ... Greg: [Mixed feelings] You will? Tasha: Well, I'll be happy to come with you ... Richard: [Enthusiastic] That's great! Maybe you'll all join some day ... There is a shocked silence.] Greg: [Hesitantly] Richard, good buddy, I think I better say this up front - I'm not wired that way ... Richard: [Enthusiastically] Uh uh. You're so wrong about that! I think everyone's wired that way - they just don't know it yet ... Greg: Oh, I know it all right, good buddy. And the answer is no. It's not for me. Richard: But it's made me so happy! I want to share it with you! Lindsey: Some things just aren't meant to be shared ... Tasha: [Hesitantly] I don't know about you guys, but I'm ... really confused ... Lindsey: About what? Tasha: Everything. Greg: Like what? Tasha: [To Richard} Richard, you just told us you're gay - didn't you? Richard: [Shocked] Me?!? Are you kidding? Whatever made you think that? [A long pause as they all glance at each other in confusion.] Lindsey: [Matter of factly] So you're not gay ... Richard: [Protesting] No, of course not ... Tasha: [Touching his arm] That makes things a lot simpler ... Greg: Yeah, I'll say. Not that we'd care if you were ... a bud is a bud is a bud ... Tasha: So what are you? Richard: I'm a Bahá'í. Greg: Same thing almost, isn't it? Except you like girls too ... Richard: [Slightly annoyed] Huh? Greg: Well, if you're bi you like guys and girls, right? You swing both ways, sort of ... you know what I mean ... Richard: I said Bahá'í - not bi ... Lindsey: [Worried] If this one of those wierdo things, Richard, I hate to say it, but I'm outta here! I'm just a plain simple girl ... guys, and later on babies the old fashioned natural way ... Tasha: [Despondent again; head in her hand] Me too. Richard: You guys are nuts! This has nothing to do with sex! [He starts laughing.] Tasha: [Perking up immediately; with increasing desperation] Richard, I know you don't mean to, but you're jerking us around. So quit it! It's driving me crazy. I want you to come right out and say it - no beating around the bush ... [Greg and Lindsey voice their support.] Richard: [Hesitantly] I sorry guys, but ... it's just not an easy thing to explain. Tasha: [Sternly] Well, I think you'd better start ... Richard: [Taking a deep breath] I've joined the Bahá'ís. They're a religion. Lindsey: So when do they shave your head? Tasha: [Impatient] Lindsey, would you just listen - before we get all confused again ... I just couldn't stand any more of that ... Richard: No head shaving, Lindsey. It's simple as ABC. A: All religions and peoples are basically one so the world is really one country. B: Bahá'u'lláh is the manifestation of God for this age. C: Civilization won't progress until we're all working together. Lindsey: [Slightly disappointed] That's it? That's the great secret? Richard: That's it. Greg: So tell me, good buddy, why all the chicken poop? Why didn't you just come out and say so? That doesn't sound too bad. Richard: [Hesitant] Well ... you got to admit ...it's not easy these days - admitting you got religion ... Lindsey: No kidding ... and maybe for a good reason ... Greg: Will I burn in hell for not joining? Richard: There isn't a hell to burn in. Greg: No hell? Now there's a new twist ... Lindsey: What do they use to scare you? Richard: Nothing. Your conscience maybe ... it's up to you ... Tasha: [With a large sigh of relief] Guys, I've got to go ... this has been quite a ride ... and I'm just exhausted ... [She gets up. The others also get up ...and they start leaving, still talking.] Richard: [Laughing as they exit] Thanks guys. For understanding. And the misunderstanding. Wait'll I tell them! [He mimics two different voices.] `I'm a Bahá'í.' `Oh. I guess that means you like girls too ...' [Their laughter fades out as they exit.] |
| OK | yes |
| VIEWS | 10649 |
| LASTEDIT | 2021-04-17 14:14 |
| TAGS | Arts;Drama;Plays;Humor;Laughter |
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